I would like to help you with your question...
Your potential, intelligence, ability, creativity, social ability, etc can all be off the charts high, and you can still be regularly attracted to alcohol. Alcohol use tends to be exponential in some people as it has powerful genetic factors to it.
Please do not be discouraged about the fact that at some level you do not understand why you are attracted to its use.
Some of the most successful and creative people in history struggled with alcohol's pull. Some were genetically influenced. Some were depressed; some were both. But those who did well asked what you did here...why am I struggling?...and then they took action as described below.
What should you do?
This type of issue does best when it is supported by others who care about you and can help you keep this influence at bay. A great first step would be to talk openly and honestly with your family physician about getting support and assistance. Doing so is a sign of great personal strength and the results of this support can take the form of individual counseling, informal support groups and similar. This is best practice and I would recommend the same to my own family if asked a similar question. Family doctors know the best local resources for support and I would encourage you greatly to do this as a first step.
What not to do? Try to fight this on your own...or hope that it will simply go away if given enough time. Instead, approach this as you would any medical issue, with support and resources. Together, with assistance you can get to your full potential without alcohol's undue influence. Steven