Thank you for your reply.
I have spoken directly with him about his constant reminders about the house, and I have asked him what he actually expects in return. I have told him point blank that I feel he is continually looking for something in return and that most friends do things without looking for something back, but he denies that he is looking for anything and simply says that all he looks for his appreciation. I have asked him what his definition of appreciate is but I just get the same thing, that all he wants is appreciation. It is very frustrating.
I have tried speaking to him directly about everything but it seems to fall on deaf ears. It is like he only hears what he wants to hear. Sometimes he will agree and I think I have gotten through to him, but next thing he is back to his old ways again.
I know both you and the other expert refer to establishing boundaries, but how exactly do you do that? And without causing myself further stress. It is not a question of worrying what people will say or think, but I don't want to create even more grief for myself if I can help it. I have been through an awful lot this year and have battled with calling it a day and worked hard on not getting to that point, so the last thing I need is more hassle where I live. I don't have many friends as some of those I had walked away when they found out I was gay.
The committee I am part of is very important to me and I don't want to lose my place on it because of animosity with this guy if I can help it. I would prefer to deal with things as amicably as possible. It is not that I cannot stand him as I do try to see the best in everyone, it is just that he seems totally focussed on me at the moment and thinks that because he introduced me to the people who rented me the house that I now owe him indefinitely, even though he refuses to admit that, but it is how he acts.
He could make waves for me with the people who are renting me the house and they could terminate the contract. I am not sure if he would go that far because I only know him for a year, and I don't really know what he is capable of.
I just need to know how do you establish boundaries in the easiest and most amicable way. I want to protect myself in all of this. I should matter.