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Jean
Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience:  Masters degree in counseling, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
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Hello my wedding is in four days. I have been having severe

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Hello my wedding is in four days. I have been having severe anxiety, trembles, muscle tension, and feel as though I am going crazy for the last month and a half. I have been with my fiance for 10 years and I love him a lot. He is a great person and we have three children together. Is it normal to feel this way and if so will it go away after the wedding.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Hello, I can assist you with your question

Jean N/20pluscounts :

How exciting and yes, anxiety producing to be planning a wedding. That you have been experiencing this for just a month, it indicates it is in direct response to the planning of your wedding, anticipation of getting married. This is one of the biggest events in a person's life. Congratulations! My answer is it is absolutely normal- it's a stress response. It's what we would call anxiety. Our minds and bodies get confused sometimes when something big is anticipated.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

The mind and body gets confused- confusing excitement, nervousness, anxiety, for danger. It's all perfectly normal.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

It tells me you have been quite focused on all of this, and naturally feel the pressure of deadlines, making sure everything works out "perfectly" for you special day. You may want to spend some time doing some deep breathing and or progressive relaxation.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Feel like you are going crazy may be your mind being on "overload", so much on your mind, not sure which way is up sometimes. Deep breathing is just that- take a deep full breath through your nose- deep enough that you notice your abdomen rises, hold for five seconds, and exhale deeply. Repeat that a few times, a few times a day, especially when you feel the symptoms you describe. We can not be relaxed and tense at the same time.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Progressive relaxation involves getting into a comfortable sitting or lying position. Take a few deep breaths as described above, and starting at your head, tense your face and relax. You do that all the way down to your toes- tense and relax your face, neck, shoulders, chest, arms, hands- any muscle you can think of. Again it is to notice the difference between tense and relaxed- notice when you tighten your fist and hold, and what a "release" it is once you relax. Taking a walk, a bath, calling a friend, some sort of diversion from all the anxiety and tension of planning this.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Balance the planning with activities to reduce your stress. Delegating and or asking others to help you with tasks may help. Making a list, checking it twice, or more right?? Identify those things you may delegate.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

It's a big step, big commitment- finally after 10 years and three children you are making it "official". Work on getting into a more relaxed state so you can enjoy your glorious day. As it gets ever closer this anxiety may escalate- but counteract it with the deep breathing and relaxation I described.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Talking to someone, a good friend, or family member can reduce the stress and anxiety also- someone that can listen and reassure you all is well.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Some of that stress is beneficial as it gets us busy doing what needs to be done- but when it is too much our body starts to react and respond. Anxiety and panic doesn't kill us- it may seem so, especially when people describe their heart racing, and tightness in their chest. Many a people I've worked with that experience anxiety and panic have ended up in the emergency room fearing they were having a heart attack- very frightening. They are then typically given a good dose of an anti-anxiety drug to lessen this response.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

If this is something new for you- it is likely directly related to the events in your life now. I hope I eased your worry a bit- quite sure this will lessen in five days!! Best of luck and good wishes on your big day.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

If you have additional comments or questions please post. I will be notified if you post other comments and I will respond back asap.

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