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Jean
Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience:  Masters degree in counseling, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
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people with no private life have a psychological problem ,is

Resolved Question:

people with no private life have a psychological problem ,is that true?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Jean replied 1 year ago.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Hello, I'd like to assist you with your question.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Welcome!

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Are you available for a live chat?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Would you tell me a little bit more about your question.

Customer:

Hi doctor .well if a person keeps on invading into other conversations as such or needs to go out constantly to much without respect of others personal well being.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Thank you for joining me. Is this someone you care about that you describe?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

You said "without respect" tells me you may be feeling disrespected?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

That's hurtful if someone you care about is not respecting your personal well being- insensitive

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Some people are more introverted, seek more time alone, while some are more extroverted- more social- go out more.

Customer:

well i know a few but this a general question.


 

Jean N/20pluscounts :

To determine if it's a "psychological problem", I would need to know a bit more- if you wouldn't mind. Is this person a bit irresponsible in going out constantly?

Customer:

i see this in a 12 year old child that is possibly gay and keeps on raising his voice.i would see him in the future as having a problem relating but not accepting who he is .


 

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I'd say if it effects one's responsibilities and relationships- because of their behavior, it could be a problem. If they neglect other responsibilities such as work, parenting, relationship obligations. I'd say that would be very difficult for a 12 year old- can create anxiety and fear when they question their sexuality.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

It's important that that 12 year old have a safe person to talk to-

Customer:

i know for a fact that he is to depended on his mom for his age .he is to extrovert and that annoys alot .constant attensionseeker .tries also to be so to say smart ass(pardon my words doctor) the know it all more than you.


 


 

Jean N/20pluscounts :

That's a difficult for a young person to acknowledge when not all of society is accepting and open minded. He's not alone- many young people question their sexuality- but they keep it quiet- suffer alone. There can be lots of shame and embarrassment. Raising his voice, anger? It may be fear and anxiety. The child needs to know they are loved, cared about, no matter what their sexuality. I don't think being gay is something one chooses- just part of who they are. Being a "smart ass" underneath he may be really insecure.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

His age of 12- I think they believe they "know it all"- brain is actively developing at this age.

Customer:

true so to say but also raises his voice in a general discussion .

Jean N/20pluscounts :

When a child acts this way it can trigger frustration for others such as his family- parents. It's sometimes best not to respond to this or make a big deal- choosing battles carefully is important. He's at the age where it's in a sense "painful" to separate a bit from mom, to be more independent. It is necessary and natural for him to do so at this age- to be more self reliant, I mean.

Customer:

he scratched on the wall once "i hate my mom " so that is not good.


 

Jean N/20pluscounts :

If he had someone to share the emotions underlying is "know it all attitude", he may act less like this. I think he may have a lot on his mind he's not sharing. Boys especially hold things in- have to act like a "tough" guy. I think "I hate my mom" is really someone saying "I'm really angry", he doesn't really hate her, I don't think- not too good at communicating his frustrations- comes out in mean comments.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

For those around him to remain calm, not angry with him, may also help him relax, calm down a bit. He's almost a teenager- they act out of control sometimes.

Customer:

well him possibility been gay it would turn ugly in future and he will maby turn perverted why cause i have delt with those types and and the first thing they want is authority as security.it also turns very narcissistic.


.


 

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Pre teens and teens think differently than we as adults do- it can drive parents crazy. They think they are right and we know nothing, and are wrong. Responding calmly to his anger is best- they do not often mean what they say when they are so angry. It does hurt a parent to see that- "I hate my mom". Some sort of natural consequence for his actions such as repairing the wall, may be best. If people get upset and angry in response to his behavior he may escalate or get worse. Finding out what he's really trying to say when he acts out is important- if he's willing to share with someone. Hopefully with your awareness he can get the help and support he needs to prevent it from getting "ugly".

Customer:

well i hope so for his sake.another thing worries me.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

He's young he can get some help now to prevent this from becoming perverted. If he got help down- hopefully would lessen the chances of becoming narcissistic. Someone who seeks to try and control is actually quite insecure and afraid.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

another thing?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

got help now, I meant

Customer:

those that are the same as him at an adult age that i have delt with there sexuality is very perverse but not normal as guy wants sex with girl or man to man type i am talking as in outrage sexuality .why does it turn out that way?


 

Jean N/20pluscounts :

What you describe is anger, rage, control- lots of unmet needs and emotions underlying that. Person was likely hurt, traumatized as a child. You as a caring adult can validate and support him. He needs to know others love and care- that he's good.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

If they act "perverse" someone treated them that way to begin with- learned.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

That's where getting him the help he may need now is important- prevent things from escalating.

Customer:

so far not that i know of and i don't think so .

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Finding someone for him to sort out his emotions, especially if he's confused sexually.

Customer:

that must be done for sure .

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Sadly, we don't teach our children enough about sexuality when it's a part of all of us.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

If he's surrounded by people who care for him, support him, he can get the help he needs.

Customer:

true very so .

Jean N/20pluscounts :

He's lucky to have someone in his life like you- who seems to care, have concern for him.

Customer:

i do because his dad walked out on him .

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I'm sorry- that can really hurt a child- again lucky to have you there for him- he needs a father figure to kind him, to teach him.

Customer:

i will do my best but i never had a child in my life so it would be hard for me.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

In this case having a supportive male will help him in the way of the world. There will less of a negative effect with an absent biological father, if he has others to be good role models.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

All he needs really is someone who cares and shows him that- that he matters, he's important.

Customer:

true doctor.


 

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Kids want to be treated as we do as adults, with respect, kindness, caring, etc.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Did you have other comments or questions?

Customer:

none for now doctor thanks.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Thank you for allowing me to chat with you- I hope things turn out well for him as well as yourself.

Customer:

thanks doctor.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

If you would be so kind to rate my answer ok or above so I can get credit- Thank you!

Jean N/20pluscounts :

You are welcome- take care!

Customer:

you too doctor.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

thank you much!

Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience: Masters degree in counseling, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
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