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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5450
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I am going through a year long custody case at the moment for

Resolved Question:

I am going through a year long custody case at the moment for my 8 year old daughter. She is very attached to me and during the separation she stayed with me 6 nights a week and 1 night with her mother. She refused to go to her mother more and I had to insist even though I know she wasn't happy there. This was broken by the judge in the interim. She now stays 4 nights with me and 3 nights with her mother who has a new partner and a new baby. My daughter met court ordered social services and in there she said she wanted to live with me and she didn't love her mother and doesn't want to be with her. Therefore social services asked for a report from a family therapist. I attended last week and form the moment I entered I was crying which is unusual for me. She asked me about my childhood and how I would describe my parents in 5 words. I said love, affection, attention, trust and respect. But I was constantly crying. Does this mean anything
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It sounds like you were reacting to the stress you have been through in the past year. It is not uncommon to experience a time of intense emotions after going through a traumatic time in your life.

You have been there for your daughter while also coping with the loss of your relationship. There also are concerns for your daughter's well being since she has been expressing distress over staying with her mother. Although you have probably been coping well during these times. you may have been maintaining your emotions in order to provide stability for your daughter. Showing that you are emotional with your daughter when she needed your attention may have been too difficult. So you might have held this all in. When you went to see the counselor, it was a chance to let these feelings out with someone who would understand and who is neutral in the situation.

You may also have tapped into your need to have someone to share this stress with. You have suffered a loss. Anytime a relationship ends, even if you end it yourself, it is a loss. And you need time to work through your feelings about that loss. Going through a separation and child custody can often feel very lonely, even if you have a lot of support. These feelings might have accumulated and caught up to you when you were faced with expressing your emotions with the therapist.

What you are experiencing is nothing to be concerned about. If your emotions began to interfere with your ability to function in your daily life, then you might need to talk with someone. And talking to a therapist is always a good idea if you feel you need extra support. But otherwise, if you are able to cope well with your feelings and accept that you will need time to adjust, you should be just fine.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5450
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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