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Ask Eleanor
Ask Eleanor, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1517
Experience:  Marriage & Family Therapist/Prof. Counselor for 20 years
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Is there a cure for crossdressing/transvestism?

Customer Question

Is there a cure for crossdressing/transvestism?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

Cultural acceptance of transvestism in this country has greatly reduced the social pressure on those who have this paraphilia. There is no criminal behavior involved and transvestites do not force others to bend to their will. Because of this social tolerance and acceptance, there are not many people who seek to change their behavior. you are probably less visible than a male who does the same, because the female wardrobe allows much more flexibility.

Many years ago, aversion therapy in the form of electric shocks were the treatment of choice, and they did not work.

Most transvestites are able to function in society, have normal sexual relationships in culturally accepted circles, and can lead a normal life. As a female who cross-dressed, Another treatment that has been used is called orgasmic reorientation, training individuals to respond sexually to culturally appropriate stimuli. This treatment has little success.

Most individuals with transvestic fetishism do not desire to change, and few respond to treatment, even when the stakes were high (such as they had to change or lose their marriage).

The best alternative would be to find a hypnotherapist who works with addictions or phobia and undergo the therapy. That is the best chance of changing your behavior.

The other is to work with a psychotherapist who uses cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and learn either to change your behavior or to accept how you are and lose or reduce your anxiety.

I wish you great success in moving forward with our life.


Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I would like to talk to a woman counselor about this

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.

Dear XXXXX,

I will opt out of this conversation and ask you to be transferred to a woman counselor. I have given you valid information based on researched and known knowledge. If you wish to give me positive feedback for my effort, I would be most grateful, as this is my livelihood. Thank you so much.

Either way, I shall opt out and get you to a female counselor, and forward this to the best one currently online. I wish you great success.


Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

Expert:  Ask Eleanor replied 1 year ago.
Hello, your question has been referred to me by the previous expert. I have been practicing psychotherapy for 20 years and have worked with many clients who cross dress as well as transgendered clients. It will help me give you my best answer if I have a bit more information. How long have you been crossdressing? How old are you? You stated in your question that you are female, correct? Briefly describe for me how you crossdress; what do you like to wear?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hello, I'm 45 and have been crossdressing since 5. I Love to crossdress in pantyhose extra firm control high waiste long leg and open bottom girdles, and high heels and corsets, skirts and tight dresses. When i saw my mom dress in her girdles it was lave at first sight, and I'v never looked back. today I have over 100+ girdles to my name. I have natural curves and my girdles really bring them out. Everyone in my family wants me to quite, but I cant and wont, it pretty much is a way of life for me! Sometimes when I'm dressed up around them, certain family members will pull my dress up just to see what girdle I'm wearing. I think their jealous. What do you think? should I even try to stop for as long as I've been doing this, or should I become a shemale or transexual.

Expert:  Ask Eleanor replied 1 year ago.

Good to hear back from you. We are born with, come into this world with, our sexual identity and orientation; it is not something we can change. Trying to deny or change our sexual selves results in great psychological harm, sometimes even suicide. I encourage you to enter therapy to explore your gender identity issues. You may very likely be a transgendered person. You actually stated in your question that you are female, which tells me that you consider yourself female. I am going to paste in some resources for you the end of my answer. Let me know if you need anything further. If you are satisfied with my answer, please give me a positive rating and click on submit. I wish you all the best in discovery and blessing your true self in therapy, take care, Eleanor

 

http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm

http://www.amazon.com/Transition-Story-How-Became-Man/dp/0525952144

Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Hi, Eleanor, actually I am male-sorry for the confusion. I like living as a woman. I dont wear pants anymore just tight skirts and dresses. I am very passable, I have boobs like Dolly Parton and hips like Mae West. I believe this all started out as girdle fetish for me and has taken over me. I am obessed with foundation garments and even wear them to bed! Is all this ok since I'm very passable as a woman-no hormones just breast forms but my hips are natural but so feminine and curvy, my family thinks I'm on hormones.

Expert:  Ask Eleanor replied 1 year ago.
Hi, yes, I understand that you are male, but putting female in your question is most likely an unconscious affirmation of your female self. Your obsession with female foundation garments could be a defense for you against really embracing your true gender identity. There is nothing wrong with it per se, but it could be preventing you from living a full life as a woman. Again, I encourage you to find a therapist who can help you discern your true self, fully accept and embrace who you are, and begin to live an authentic life. If you have no further questions and are satisfied with my answer, please rate me positively and click on submit. Thank you and take care, Eleanor
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


I have tried to stop many times in the past by purging but the urgrs are to great. I like to look beautiful and curvacious. very shapely legs with high heels on. I'm not gay but love dressing as a woman and looking pretty. Should I just keep going? I want to since I cant seem to stop. When I did I was Very Depressed. I work with other women at a womans boutique. They


have embraced it since I'm so passable, and they love my wardrobe. I still


dress this way when at my parents for the holidays. It causes problems because I'm a guy who has better curves than any woman in my family. Can I get by without the counseling?

Expert:  Ask Eleanor replied 1 year ago.

If you are happy with your life the way it is now, then, of course, it is perfectly okay for you to keep going like this. And yes, you can get by without counseling. The question is do you want to keep "getting by" or do you want a fuller life. If you want the latter, then therapy is the answer. Remember that transgendered people do not have to be gay as well. Hope this helps, Eleanor

Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Is the therapy to determine if I could have a fuller life as a woman with srs,or is it to get me to quit being a transvestite. I have heard that there is no cure for this. What should I do since I.ve been doing this for so long? I go to bed dressed as a woman just so I can wear foundation garments 24/7. What do you think about this.

Expert:  Ask Eleanor replied 1 year ago.
Therapy would be to discover and affirm your authentic life whether that be as a transgendered woman, a male crossdresser or any other aspect of your sexual being. Psychotherpy would not be about changing who you are or judging you. I think that you deserve to live your life to the fullest as your true self.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Hello again, what steps do I need to consider in trying to decide if I want to be a transgendered woman, or a male crossdresser?

Expert:  Ask Eleanor replied 1 year ago.

Hi again. The first step would be extensive, prolonged, indepth psychotherapy with a therapists who works with sexual identity issues. Then, if in therapy you discover that you are transgendered, an evaluation by a psychiatrist would be required before proceeding with any hormonal treatments or surgery to physically become a woman. Hope this clarifies things for you. If you have no further questions, I would very much appreciate your submitting a positive rating for my work with you. I wish you all the best, XXXXX XXXXX Eleanor

Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Hi Eleanor, what do you think has made me become so addicted to crossdressing? Do you think all my years of wearing tight girdles and corsets has given me such a curvacious figure. I've prayed every night for my hips to widen and curve out and it looks so feminine people think I'm on hormones already but I'm not. Do you think the Lord has answered my prayers and that these are signs to become a fulltime woman?

Expert:  Ask Eleanor replied 1 year ago.

Your addiction to crossdressing is probably a defense against fully embracing your true sexual identity; I believe I mentioned this earlier. Yes, the girdles and corsets could certainly have molded your figure through the years. I think that your are being spiritually called to become who you really are in the world.

Ask Eleanor, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1517
Experience: Marriage & Family Therapist/Prof. Counselor for 20 years
Ask Eleanor and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Dear Eleanor thankyou so much for time and talents! Would you like anymore information about my lifestyle or do you have any questions you'd like to ask me?

Expert:  Ask Eleanor replied 1 year ago.
You are so very welcome, my pleasure. Thank you for your excellent rating and bonus. I need nothing further from you. If you would like to request me to answer a future question, simply place "Ask Eleanor" at the beginning and it will be directed to me. Take care of yourself, Eleanor
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Eleanor, does my lifestyle mean I have a mental illness, and do you think this has all happened to me because of a girdle fetish?

Expert:  Ask Eleanor replied 1 year ago.
Hi again, no, this is definitely not a mental illness. I think your girdle fetish is part of your sexual identity issue. These are the things you will explore in therapy. I hope you will find a therapist to work with soon, take care, Eleanor
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Hi Eleanor , I had triple d breast implants put in! These are fabulous! No need for hip implants I have natural curves suported by my girdles. I still have my male parts and plan on keeping them for now. The Drs. are amazed by my curvacious figure. I wish now I would have done this right out of college. Do you think I should become a full woman?

Expert:  Ask Eleanor replied 1 year ago.
Hi, good to hear back from you and to know that you are pleased with your breast implants. Becoming a full woman, having the surgery, will require long term psychotherapy and then a thorough evaluation by a psychiatrist. So I encourage you to find a therapist asap and begin the journey. Take care, Eleanor
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi Eleanor, How do you think I should break this news to my parents and siblings, they have not been very supportive of me through any of this. Should I surprise them with it?

Expert:  Ask Eleanor replied 1 year ago.
Hi, I would wait until you have been seeing your therapist for a while to tell your family. I would definitely not surprise them! Your therapist can work with you on how to approach them and might even want to invite them in for a family session with you. So therapist is your first step. Hope this helps, Eleanor
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi Eleanor, I'm now on hormone therapy and my curves are even more enhanced, abd my skin is very soft. From the waiste up I look like Dolly Parton and from the waiste down I look like Mae West! I spend a lot of time in front of the mirror admiring my sexy curves. I plan to start entering transvestite beauty pageants as well as opening my own store for vintage girdles and foundation garments-solong as I can pull myself away from the mirror, its very sexually arousing to me do to my results. I now have to wear
custome fitted dresses and skirts do to my enhaced curves! This is a dream come true and should win me many pageants!


 

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