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RealSupport, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3191
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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Hello, I am a 48 year old female from Dallas, Texas. I am having

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Hello, I am a 48 year old female from Dallas, Texas. I am having some problems with my 86 year old father. His wife (my stepmom) of 30 years passed away in April and he has started dating my ex-step mother (his 3rd wife). This is really awkward for me because this woman is the one he left my mom for when I was very young. He has since cancelled all holiday plans he had made with my brother and I to spend time with her & doesn't understand why I don't want to spend Thanksgiving/Christmas & New Year's with this woman. Am I being unreasonable to not want to be forced to have a relationship with this woman I haven't seen since I was 12 ? or do I need to just get past it in order to spend time with my dad ? Thanks

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but


Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know about this challenging situation, perhaps overwhelming for most people in your shoes.


Rafael M.T.Therapist :

It is never unreasonable to not want to be forced to do something you do not want to do, even more if it is about relationships. A decision like this should be totally yours, depending on your own feelings and what you are truly willing to afford. You grieved during your childhood the need of your parents' marriage and family disruption because of this other person, and recently just had another significant loss in your life. Thus the situation you depict is very painful for most people facing it, and it would be totally unfair for you not to be truthful and caring towards yourself in order to effectively cope,heal and move on with your life.


Rafael M.T.Therapist :


It is also true that you deserve and have the right to continue to share with your father, and that if his present choices and life changes represent a limitation between you, both need to respect and acknowledge it. You and your brother are facing a truly painful experience when finding yourselves, your relationship and plans totally undermined y your father's decision. It is obvious you feel hurt and for very good reason.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please be totally truthful towards yourself, assessing what you truly want and are willing to afford around this situation, because only you know your feelings and how tough it is and will be for you to cope and come to terms with this dramatic changes in your lives.


Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Does it make sense?



Yes & thank you. Your last sentence ... " assessing what you truly are willing to afford around this situation ..." was very helpful!

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're very welcome.


Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thank you for your trust. Please feel free to post any new questions since I am willing to support you. If you want to make sure it's me who reply to your questions, just include my name in them and I will respond as soon as possible. Please do not forget to rate support for session chat to be closed. Take gentle care.


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