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Ryan LCSW, Mental Health
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  Individual and Family Therapist
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I met a man online. We were corresponding by email and talking

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I met a man online. We were corresponding by email and talking on the phone. I went down to Florida to meet him and spend ten days with him. A week after I came back we broke up. I had reservations about the relationship. He was anxious to marry me and have sex. I told you how I feel about having sex. On the phone last week he got the sense I wanted to break up with him. I told him I couldn'y marry him because I wouldn't be able to get disability in the states like I do in Canada. He was upset about that and wouldn't talk further on the phone. I called him on the phone and left a message to wish him good luck since he didn't pick up the phone to talk to me. Since it happened, I've been hurting real bad. He was pressuring me to marry him and have sex with him. Did I do the right thing? What do you think?
Thanks for your question. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I'd like to help you out.

I'm sorry to hear about how this relationship ended, although it sounds like your instincts were telling you that it wasn't a good situation for you which is an important thing to listen to. You obviously wanted it to work out and went to the trouble of going to visit him for 10 days, but even though you were the one who wanted to break up, it can still hurt and feel like a loss now that it is over. Overall though, you have to make the best decision for yourself moving forward, and if you're feeling like he was putting too much pressure on you to make decisions that you aren't comfortable with, then it's probably better to end this now rather than be coerced into something you are feeling unsure about. From what you said it sounded like you were open to compromise, but if he is pushing you to get married now and you aren't ready for it, then it may be a sad way to end this, but also be the right thing for you personally.

It sounds like you had to make a tough choice but I respect the fact that you trusted your instinct. Typically that is the right thing to do so I definitely wish you the best. If there's anything else I can do to help just let me know.

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