Doctor Rao : Hi are you online
Doctor Rao : It does seem that your sister has some traits of personalit disorder in the form of interpersonal difficulties, impulsivity, splitting, change in mood and presentation.
Doctor Rao : As you rightly pointed out it might be very difficult to help her if she is not willing to accept the issues and seek support. You might want to give more information about the problem to see but she might completely disagree with you.
Doctor Rao : One way you can help her and yourself is by keeping the boundaries, avoiding confrontation and criticism as often they won't take criticism lightly which might trigger another row.
Doctor Rao : You can help to improve the understanding of interpersonal relationship issues as usually once they start looking at them, accepting the issue and willing to change their situation would completely change from the family dynamics point if view.
Doctor Rao : Lastly she might not agree to see the psychologist or counsellor But might agree to see her Family physician. This is important because it is important to rule out any mood disorder before anyone confirm personality disorder as some of the symptoms do overlap between these two,
Doctor Rao : Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require more information. If you find the answer helpful, please provide positive feedback. Finally I can appreciate how difficult it is for you and other siblings But have to say you are doing what you can. Thank you
So, when she starts talking about things that aren't true, do we agree with her? I understand we need to avoid ciritcism.
You can help to improve the understanding of interpersonal relationship issues as usually once they start looking at them, accepting the issue and willing to change their situation would completely change from the family dynamics point if view.
Can you explain the above? I am not sure I understand what you are saying here.
One more thing: We do try to avoid confrontation, however that is difficult. For example, she agreed to come see my dad and leave at 8pm. At 9pm, she said her ride was on the way. At 10 pm, my brother and sister offered her a ride home, and she exploded. No one had mentioned the fact that she was already late in leaving before 10pm, so there was no prior confrontation.
We were trying to get everyone out of the house so my mom could go to bed, and she refused to leave. How to you avoid confrontation then? My mom was ready for her to go home. She will often refuse to do what she earlier had agreed to.
Doctor Rao : I understand that. It must be difficult for you and the family. In the situations you have mentioned you can challenge her,confront her to an extent But she might be sensitive to criticism. Haing said hat it is atmost important to place firm boundaries and make the bOundaries explicit. They do have low self esteem,self confidence which from time to time show up as angry outbursts with the people involved. She would also have fear of abandonment and sensitivity to rejection. So, firm boundaries do help. I would suggest if possible to go through the book below. Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder [Paperback]Paul Mason MS (Author), Randi Kreger (Author)
Doctor Rao : I hope you find the answer helpful. I wish you all the best. Thank you.