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Bill
Bill, LCSW, Consultant, Expert Witness
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3705
Experience:  35 years treating individuals, couples, families with mental health and substance abuse prob's
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31 year old VIRGIN

Resolved Question:

I've never been with a girl. Never "french" kissed a girl. I'm 31 years old. I WANT to have sex. I've never "waited". I've basically have never had an opportunity. Would going to the "bunny ranch" be a good or bad thing for me and WHY? I've never been in a relationship but I can't say that I want to or not. Time for me is ticking away. 

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Bill replied 1 year ago.
Hello- Thank you for asking the question. I have over 30 years of experience working with individuals, couples and families & am happy to reply.

I am happy to help you with this if you can provide me some additional information.

1) Why do you think you have had problems establishing sexual relationship?
2) How would you describe your sexual desire- on a 1 to 10 scale
3) Is engaging a prostitute (i.e. the Bunny Ranch) something that you would find fulfilling a means to an end of just having sex?
4) Have you ever had any counseling to address this issue of concern?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best, Bill

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

1) I'm unattractive, socially awkward?, social anxiety?, low self esteem, I apparently don't know how to "close", I've been rejected NUMEROUS times "going for a kiss", I don't know when the "time to move in" is? I am TOO modest and HONEST to people. I give girls and even strangers too much information? I have big ears, sloped forehead. I'm short.


2) If this means how much I want to have sex? it's way beyond a 10. I've been wanting a girlfriend or have sex since I can remember. In highschool, I used to ask teachers to try to hook me up. I'm pretty desperate and I'm not shy to admit it.


3)Not sure what you are asking me. I would like to have sex but not just one time ever. I would like to experience sexual things (touching, handjobs, blowjobs, etc..) The furthest thing Iv'e done with a girl is hug a girl and kissed a girl on the lips. I tried tongue but I keep getting rejected and they back off and make feel like crap. I don't really want to do pay for anything but I seriously feel like if I don't find a girlfriend or a ONE NIGHT STAND type of girl then it's NEVER gonna happen. I'm 31 years old. I have no "game" and I'm obviously very unattractive. Physically as well as mentally probably to these girls.


4) No professional help...I've had friends (guys and girls) that have said Yes to prostitiution and No to the idea. They claim it would get me over the "hump" but it might steer me to just constantly "pay" for it more and if I don't eventually get it naturally.

Expert:  Bill replied 1 year ago.
Doug-

Thanks for your feedback.

I cannot recommend prostitutes as it is something that can lead to serious heath problems as you well know.

I do think that you should seek counseling with an expert in sex and relationship issues and process the possibility of having a sex surrogate.

Sexual surrogates are explained here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_surrogate

http://surrogatetherapy.org/

Experts in dealing with these issues are members of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT).

The Directory to trained Experts to help you with this issue is here:

http://aasect.org/directory_usa.asp

I think there is a healthier solution for you than the "Bunnie Ranch" and connecting with one of the above Experts to process your unique needs is something I highly recommend.


If you have additional questions, please ask below.

Otherwise, I wish you the very best.

Kindest regards, Bill


Please Leave Positive Rating so that I receive credit for my time
Expert:  Bill replied 1 year ago.
Doug-

I see that you have reviewed my response.

If you have additional questions, feel free to ask.

Otherwise, I appreciate your positive rating so that I receive Credit for my time.

Kindest regards,

Bill
Bill, LCSW, Consultant, Expert Witness
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3705
Experience: 35 years treating individuals, couples, families with mental health and substance abuse prob's
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