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I would like to help you with your question.
I am sorry that the separation continues and that the resolution you want has not happened.
I can understand your desire to restore the marriage and move past the separation. Yet I can also imagine that your husband is concerned and even worried about a repeat of the past.
I think you are taking a good approach by inviting him back into the family and building on those encounters. That he has joined you when invited is certainly a hopeful sign.
Have you considered couple's therapy? This might be a way for your husband to openly talk about the hurt, embarrassment and pain he has experienced and for you to also talk about what you experienced. What seems important here is that you look at what happened in the past, understand why it occurred, and look at how you have each changed over these 3 years and how better equipped you are to be in a relationship.
Certainly you have both been wounded and both deserve a second chance at having the kind of marriage you desire.
I do agree that telling him you will wait for him was a good choice. It takes the pressure off of him, gives him a clear signal that you want to restore your relationship, and is critical in rebuilding trust.
There are a number of books on rebuilding relationships that I could suggest that you might find helpful. Would you like that kind of assistance?
I see that you are off line right now, when you come on line I will be notified.
I am having a very hard time with things right now. He was living with a friend that had also seperated. Hus house sold and the closing date is this friday. The neighbours accross the street have become close to my husband. Infact the wife was trying to leave her spouse of 25yrs because he is an alcoholic. The rented a 5 bdrm farm house and invited my husband to rent a room. He accepted and now lives with her, her 21yr old daughter 23 yr old son and 5 yr old grandson. I am afraid that I will push him into her arms. They are close friends and probably lean on each other for assistance and a helping hand. I feel like nothing has happened between them and I don't think that they would cross that line and ruin a good friendship. I know that I am jealous and I think its natural. Just having a hard time with that also. I have asked him and he said that nothing has happened between them and that they are just friends.
I have suggested marriage counselling and he said he has talked to enough professionals and they would think he is crazy for coming back. I don't know if I am wasting my time but I do love him and have been waiting for him all this time
It is just so hard to sit here and wait and wonder what he is doing who is he with what is he thinking and is there any chance for our future
I could really use your help and perhaps a chat back and forth
Yes I would condider therapy and actually have been in it for the past 2 years