Hello- Thank you for asking the question. I have over 30 years of experience working with individuals, couples and families & am happy to reply.
I am sorry to hear about this-
Are you able to chat now?
How long has this been a problem for your Daughter?
this is going on before she was married. for almost 4 to 5 years but recently after getting married and after having a child who is 8 months old now. she was married 2 years ago.
Would you say that the following is accurate way of describing how your daughter acts:
Sees people as all good or all bad and have extreme, blink-of-an-eye mood swings. Their fear of abandonment, combined with feelings of emptiness and self-loathing, makes others feel like they're constantly walking on eggshells.
it is getting worse
These are additional features that I am wondering if you recognize in your daughter?
Does this person:
mood swings are more like every third or fourth day. she starts ok with people but it does not take long before she finds problems with them. In general she cannot handle stress.
Read the above features- do they sound familiar?
Please send what you have written thus far........thanks
I will answer bullet by bullet.
- No. she talks bad about them when they get close to her but when they go away she starts missing them. Like she is always complaining about about her husband without ever recognizing her faults.but she does not want to break with him so far
- answer is no
- All we know that when some one is not around her she misses them. She starts remembering good things about them
- possibly yes
- yes she mostly does not accepts her mistakes. Even if she does she never lea
rns from it
Thanks for additional information.
From what you write and based on my experience your daughter most likely has a Personality Disorder that typically manifests itself in late adolescence or early adult hood.
This is clinically referred to as Borderline Personality Disorder
This has to be clinically diagnosed by a mental health professional but this is my sense based on what you have written.
Hallmark features of this disorder in instability in mood, interpersonal relationships and seeing the world in black and white terms.
What can we do. She is not ready to get professional help. In fact gets very upset when previously we mentioned it.
I am going to attach some information about this disorder so that you can educate yourselves as this is something that does typically get worse - and you have to understanding of what you are dealing with and how to help when she is willing to get help.......which typically comes at some point in time.
The information from these sites will help you understand this disorder and the ways you can deal with it and how to help your daughter ultimately accept the need for treatment.
This is a disorder that is hard to treat depending on the severity of the disturbance and this can only be determined by clinical evaluation.
If she is not willing to accept treatment at this time- you cannot force it. All you can do is learn about the issues and how to respond to her.
This information should also be passed on to her husband.
I know this is a lot of information to absorb but it is an essential first step for you in dealing with this problem.
could this condition be by birth or is it the surrounding that creates it
It is typically a result of genetic and environmental factors.........so it is both.
in order to get help shall we see a doctor first ourself and what type of doctor.
I would see a Psychologist or Psychiatrist to address this issue- It would also help her husband also.
In what city are you- I can check for Experts in your area?
I also recommend the book:
By Randi Kreger
we are in Jeddah Saudi Arabia. But we can take her to Toronto Canada if needed because we are canadian citizens. But her Husband is not Canadian. They were planning to apply for his immigration
The following are Experts in Jeddah:
Dr. Ibtessam Dakhatani, Clinical PsychologistAdult and Child CounselingPhone: XXX-XXXX x 539Dr. Mona Sawaf, PsychiatristCounseling of Women, Families, and ChildrenPhone: (966-2) XXX-XXXX / XXX-XXXXDr. Nazly Daula, PsychiatristInternational Medical CenterPhone: (966-2) XXX-XXXXDr. Ibrahim Turkistani, Psychiatrist|International Medical CenterPhone: (966-2) XXX-XXXX
The above link has a list of a number of Experts that work with this Disorder. I would suggest you start in where you are now........but the choice is up to you.
The important thing is to become educated and know that there are Experts that understand this and can help.
I trust that this will help you in helping your daughter and wish you the very best.
Kindest regards, Bill
Should you have further questions for me, feel free to ask as I am happy to help.
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