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Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am very sorry to know about this overwhelmingly painful reality.
Could you please tell me for how long did you date before getting
The behaviors you describe here show a person who has not trusted you from the very beginning because of his own personal and past marital issues. Sadly the fact that you were not open enough about what happened before during this period of time you were not dating has been taken by him as the very reason to justify his present abusive behaviors and neglect.
It's very sad and frustrating but as you said, he is very unfair and his hypocrisy fuels all his abuse to the point of leaving you without option, since he literally eliminates every means of healthy and mature dialogue. He points his finger at your past during that period of time, when he totally dismissed hos own actions where he actually was unfaithful. What I see here is that this is not about you and what you did when single and without commitment but about his personal issues projected on you.
He needs professional counseling to work on his personal issues in order for him to be able to play a respectful and respon
sible role in relationships, otherwise I do not see how your situation could improve
Marriage counseling could be essential but would become useless as long as he does not take full responsibility for his own choices, actions and the abusive ways he have shown, working on himself with individual counseling support.
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