Hello- Thank you for asking the question. I have over 30 years of experience working with individuals, couples and families & am happy to reply.
I am sorry to hear about your sons addiction to Xanax, a commonly abused and addictive Benzodiazapine.
I have worked with addicts for 35 years and what you describe is the typical behavioral manifestations that we see among addicts who use all types of creative manipulative strategies to further their secondary gain of obtaining the substance they desire or their "drug of choice."
I do understand but we don't know what to do now. What is your suggestion?
Drug addiction is a progressive illness for which there is No Cure- only abstinence.
Therefore, until your son reaches a point where he accepts that this is outside of his control and surrenders to recovery he will continue to abuse the medication as he has a physiological dependence.
This is what you can do:
STOP ENABLING THE BEHAVIOR
Enabling the addict is the worst thing you can do. This means you have to stop any type of financial of physical support of his addiction.
This does not mean that you have to stop loving your son-
It means you have to cut off all means of support his addictive behavior that you have control over: Detail on this is contained in the following link:
The following 10 points are ways that you can stop enabling the addict in your life, recover your sense of control, and hopefully stall the person you love’s descent into disaster.
It takes time to become aware of the ways we enable the addict in our life but perhaps with the information in this list you can begin to remove the factors that are causing you, and your addict more harm than good.
And remember, what we do when we enable comes from a place of love, and all of our intentions at the time are good. Please don’t punish yourself or feel guilty for having done anything that may have contributed to the ongoing course of your loved ones addiction. But DO begin to remove the safety nets that prevent the addict in your life from ever having to feel, recognize and face what they have become stuck in.
Only by doing so, can they have any chance of making the decision to free themselves.
I also encourage parents to get involved in support groups with others who have families that are addicted.
This can be accomplished through AL-ANON or Nar Anon-
In these groups you receive support and learn how to cope with the addict in your life.
Meeting directory at above website:
The following link also has an abundance of books and resource information for families affected by addictive disease:
I see that you are typing - if you can let me know where your son lives, I will give you the information on where HE can get help and not rely on you.
ZIP CODE CITY AND STATE PLEASE- Thanks
This will also help you:
Please Send what you have typed so that I am sure chat feature is working- Thanks
All very good advice. Thank you.