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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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About 2 years ago my then 7 year old neice was sexually abused

Customer Question

About 2 years ago my then 7 year old neice was sexually abused by her then 12 year old boy cousin. They were both counselled and police were involved but no charges were laid. Saturday night just gone, the same 7 year old neice was approached at a party of mine along with my own son (8 years old) by a 9 year old boy and they were both asked the following questions. This is alleged not proven. Would you drink my pee? Have you ever had sex or would you consider having sex with anyone? Apparently my neice is quite upset with the conversation and it was bought to my attention this morning. My son has not mentioned it at all and is currently away camping with his father. No touching was involved just talk. Should I be concerned about this at all or is it normal child curiosity that sparked the conversation and maybe taken too much to heart because of the previous sexual contact of my neice and another boy?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

We live in such an uninhibited world where our children are exposed to all kinds of graphic sexual innuendo, perverse ideas, and uncensored language, that this kind of communication doesn't seem to be out of the ordinary. Sex education is given to children too young to understand it, and it becomes normalized.

It seems we, as parents and family members have to be on guard all of the time

It seems that your niece has become quite capable of recognizing improper talk and behaviour and is going to protect herself.

She may be sensitised, but in a positive way. The questions posed by the 9-year old boy were improper and rude. Because the environment and cultural milieu affects most children, aware and concerned parents must take a very strong hand in filtering out the trash from the culture. Some families do not have televisions and succeed in
raising sound and healthy children who go on to higher achievements and successful families of their own.

Some of the behaviour that your niece experience is, of course, normal childhood curiosity, the kind that existed before there was any form of electronic media, or even before there was electricity. Children were always curious, particularly about the opposite sex. It is more out of hand today because the parents have less or at least competing influence.

The botXXXXX XXXXXne is that your niece is fine. She has a sense of what is right and wrong and therefore is protected. The positive lessons she learned have been internalised, and she is one of the fortunate ones.

You don't have to worry. Keep being one of the positive forces in her life and she will grow up to be just like her role models, you can be sure.

If you have any other concerns about this, please don't hesitate to get back to me and I will continue to address your issue.


Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.


Hi Elliot. I am unsure if I should counsel my 9 year old nephew involved in this situation to make him aware of his actions? Was it natural curiosity on his part or should he be talked to about it?

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Dear Angela,

I see that you have already asked this question on a separate inquiry and I have answered it. If you have any follow ups i will be delighted to help. Thank you so much for your generous acceptance and high ratings. It is much appreciated.

Keep up your great work as a loving aunt and mother who cares for and supports your family in an exceptional manner.

Warm regards,

Elliott

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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
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35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.