Hello, this is Jean, and I can assist you. Welcome- I'm glad you posted your question.
Sorry you are struggling so much- hopefully I can assist you to find something that may relax you a bit.
When we feel like we "are or might" go crazy, typically means we are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, lots on our mind.
I'm here to tell you, you will/can get through this.
A lot of what we experience in this type of situation is "grand central station head", our thoughts are so strong, tend to "control" us. It is just thoughts- must find a way to quiet those thoughts.
If you typically feel better after listening to relaxation stuff, and doing relaxation stuff- you can do it again. I would ask you to start by doing "belly" breathing. Place your hand on your abdomen and inhale deeply, until your hand is pushed out. Hold that breath and exhale fully, and repeat.
You said you are depressed and stressed out, that deep breathing, and relaxation can really help. We have to practice the deep breathing and relaxation, because it is a new skill for many people. When we are stressed out we tend to breath in a shallow way- we need deep cleansing breaths.
I have found some great stuff on Youtube- if you search for "relaxation" once on that site, various videos come up. Many have nice soothing music, and beautiful, and relaxing images, very calming.
Making a list of things you can have an impact on, and those things that are out of your control, can be helpful in sorting out our worries and anxiety.
It's hard to think straight when we have so much anxiety and worries on our mind- start feeling "spaced out", in a daze- that's all part of the effects of anxiety.
Going for a brisk walk or other form of exercise can help- in a sense you "work off" the anxiety.
Posting your question today, calling a friend, doing some journal writing, are all good things; seeking out support is a great way to get through this- being reminded you are not going crazy.
If you identify those things you can have an impact on such as tasks you need to complete, phone calls you need to make, bills to pay, chores etc.;making a list, and checking those things off can help ease the anxiety.
Are you available for a live chat?
When anxious we get so overwhelmed it's difficult to know "where to start" to sort through, and tackle things we need to do. That's where writing them down can help.
If you come up with a long list of tasks- go easy on yourself- you can only do so much at a time. We have to be realistic about what we can do in an hour, day, week.. We tend to put so much pressure on ourselves to accomplish so much, that it's hard to even get started.
Talking to yourself like you would a good friend is worth a try. Ridiculing and putting ourselves down does little good- makes us feel even more stuck. If a friend were experiencing the struggles you are- what would you tell them? I think we would comfort them, tell them it will be okay, to hang in there etc. We are so much more kind and encouraging to others- need to do that more for ourselves. The negative thinking can really bring us down.
You are not alone in that feeling/thought "I'm going crazy"- that's common with anxiety and our fast paced society. Some people are more sensitive to the busy-ness of the world and have to take extra care to find peace and calm. When a person is more sensitive- seemingly small problems can seem overwhelming. It's a good quality to be sensitive and caring, but it can also open one up for a bit more hurt, than the less sensitive. The sensitive soul must protect them self from the over stimulized world we live in.
If listening to relaxation stuff, and doing things that are relaxing has helped- do more of what has helped you in the past- can never relax too much. One can not be relaxed/calm and anxious and uptight at the same time.
Continue to post, ask questions, make comments, until you are satisfied with my answer.
One of my favorite childhood stories is the "The Little Train That Could"- great reminder of the little guy(little train with a big load) in the big world of so many demands, having the courage to "give it a try". "I think I can, I think I can, I thought I could"- the little train tells himself as he's trying to haul a heavy load up a big hill. An example of how important it is to encourage ourselves. May be able to find the story on line.
I look forward to other comments or questions you may have- Jean
Am just stressed out at home all my life had it too stressed, but with really serious people and people who listen i can get along with them like the japanese who think really really fast their brains can really keep up with them. I guess with my parents not treating me like a family and always getting angry with me and fierce like a tiger never treated me like a family my whole life, now going back to taking diazepam 5MG feel better and got bullied all my life even now had to get the police around to sort out the stupid, pathetic and racist and offensive and abusive people who start saying things like right and trying to speak like japanese and chinese manners and today the same 16-18 year old people saying saying f off outside my house and trying to sound weird speaking an Asian language it's like my information is being leaked when i see the psychiatrist, everyday they pass by it's like they have nothing else to do i don't know how they saw me i was in the house seem to target me because i look really weak or weak.
I've had it also for 25+ years with my family and my life too much negative, racist, abusive and criticism moving to Japan when i finish my movie directing intensive courses in London in the UK in a few years time because am trying to push my confidence that i can be a movie director in less than a few years time basically am not wasting anymore time in my life anymore 25 years old now nearly 26 in January 2nd. Everytime I watch the Japanese Animations they strengthen my confidence and give me a huge boost and give me hope.
It's important to have goals, hope, and enthusiasm to pursue those goals. It's never too late to find the happiness you are looking for. It sounds like the Japanese culture and the animation is a passion for you. Yes, focus on those things that make you happy, the positive stuff that gives you that hope. We can not change what has happened in the future so putting the energy into planning for your future is where you need to focus. You are young, you have lots of good things to come if you continue to follow your dreams. Best wishes on your movie career.
If you would be so kind to rate my answer ok or above so I can get credited- much appreciated.
What I meant in that sentence: We can not change what has happened in the past, so putting the energy into planning for your future is where you need to focus.
Yes your right. That's what am doing now i don't think it would make any difference even if i went back in time.
The police are doing not much here asked the people living behind my house if they did such things i said who is going to admit a criminal offence?
Hi again Jean my good friend. These people possibly who live behind my parents house where i live now are doing weird and dodgy stuff walking past my house like yesterday saying out loud bum, which is unacceptable that's why in a few years time am moving to Japan to start my career as a Movie director, Script writer, Producer and acting in my own Movies.
It's stupid these old people in my town and am moving into London next year at least i stand out in the crowd been there a wonderful place, it's like these old people when i do normal expressions, have nothing else to do i do normal expressions they start doing sexual noises and sounds it's like they have nothing else to do i don't mean to be rude but it's the UK that's the problem in Japan they don't care what you do and who you are they treat you as a anyone and a normal person. That's why in a few years time am moving to Japan.
I've had it during the time i got really ill in 2004,17 the old stupid old people i was just doing normal stuff they looked at my face without looking most of them making sexual noises and sounds on the bus it's like they have nothing else to do people in this country and too much freedom in the UK in Japan they don't care a dam about you excuse my language if it was rude.
What is the hospital called where the psychiatrist sends me there for a special treatment and my Mum said it will be for weeks where i have to be cured properly instead of seeing the one now since she's not an actual psychiatrist because it's going to be boring i will sleep and sit into a living room almost i think they need to do an assessment which isn't very good before going into their so i will have my own private area where no one is around?
Am doing basic tai chi at the moment so that will help but if i go to where you said my Mum said it will take weeks for me to get better it will be so boring i will have my own room i presume she said and my own living room is that true?
Thank you very much Jean my good friend. My Mum is and was over doing it or over reacting she says i would be their next week after the translator and the psychiatrist this Friday, still and then today she changed her mind and said you won't stay for a week only until you get better but their's nothing wrong with me if am off medications it's fine i just need to do these brain training stuff and some Chinese stuff to heal myself, my mum said they will do a test on me before going there. The last time i went into hospital only 3 people they were being so racist, abusive, sexual and harassment including those too i just mentioned harassment with those also. My Mum said i will be on my own i don't think so that's what my psychiatrist said to her and maybe another 1 and i got treated like dog or worser like a pig or worse am getting scared, all i need to do is move into a flat with social services then i will be fine on my own and can go shopping and do what i want like a normal person does cook for themselves lunch, dinner and of course do breakfast which i wanted to and want to look after myself 25+ now.
What type of assessment am i going to get to go into that type of hospital I mentioned where the psychiatrist checks me because the psychiatrist i have now is only a Specialty Doctor in Psychiatry?
With Specialty Doctor in Psychiatry is it not a proper psychiatrist because she said she isn't only a doctor don't know what my mum heard in the meeting with the translator?
Is it likely i will get tied since they think am ill and what is the area like?
Well now am ok after my Mum said it because am doing well don't need to go to hospital. But the police are doing nothing their being racist and bullying me the people who live behind my back house all the police want is evidence and for me to see them actually do it if i call the police again i will get into trouble. I don't know what to do it's driving me mad and making me very upset. This kid just said Chinese face in the back of his garden in the dark so weird he is. What does he get out of it nothing? I have to always talk to my friends on the phone to help me and you now.
What did you mean by?: They may get a "rise" out of provoking others, controlling others as some sort of "game".
It's just the United Kingdom i found out that 70% people get bullied and harassed that's why a lot of people in this Country have to take medications so badly from what a friend told me this is the worse country in the world.
That's why when i get my movie director, script writing, producer experience and knowledge i will go to Japan in 2-3 years time to get respect.
Really the USA do a lot about bullying what i see in Hollywood movies i see some bad stuff?
I never been to USA what's it like generally I know there's gun crimes and all these bad stuff about it?
I know this isn't related but just 2 general questions about the USA?
Why is it no one believes me that people are making fun of me or bullying me i feel upset even the health services says no one is these kids were recently copying me and making fun or bullying me i feel so upset now holding it inside me saying no their not? Am not saying everyone is against me.
My family never treated me as a family so i will deal with it myself they always said to me my whole life you stupid, naughty, bad boy, evil, black hearted, crazy, mental and mad boy. I have a psychologist not sure if that's any help? All my family want to know is good stuff not bad stuff i've been very upset about it all my life my Mum 10 years ago about that i was having a bad time she said am going to commit suicide she actually went outside the house and wanted to get run over by a car just because i was having a bad time and troubling her during dinner time she said all these 10's of years then but then i saved her basically so she stopped thinking that.
Thank you very much Jean. Do you know why I sometimes have swear and bad words i heard in my head from the past when i get angry since i was 15 to now?
Why do I remember the bad stuff 2 years ago my care-coordinator said i said i don't know must be because i've holded it inside me what do you think and have to say?
Thank you very much.