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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5453
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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what questions should I ask our marriage psycologist about

Customer Question

what questions should I ask our marriage psycologist about my wifes insecurity and posseive behavior? I figure skate pairs , 2 yrs now, but my wife is very jealous and accuses me of many accusations.

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

Your therapist might be trying to get more information about your hobby so she can understand what your wife is feeling about it. The more she knows, the easier it is for her to find out what the root of the problem might be and how to resolve it for both of you.

If your wife is feeling insecure and jealous about the women you are with while skating, she may not feel ok about herself or your marriage. This can be caused by two things- either your wife is insecure about herself and transfers these feelings to your marriage and fears you cheating on her and/or leaving her, or two, there are reasons in your relationship that are causing your wife to feel insecure, such as previous infidelity or issues between you both that are unresolved. It can also be a combination of both.

When your wife accuses you of cheating or being interested in other women, she is saying that she does not trust you. So that might be a good starting point in therapy. Ask your therapist to help you find out why your wife feels she cannot trust you. Is it because of how your wife feels about herself, or are there reasons in your marriage to cause her to doubt you?

Then once you know why your wife feels that way, ask the therapist to help you find ways to build the trust between you and your wife. The therapist should be able to give you both exercises to work on at home so you can build the trust between you. Also, ask about ways you can help your wife feel closer to you. By treating your wife as the most important person in your life, you can help rebuild the trust in your marriage.

You may also want to ask your therapist for resources to help you and your wife work on this issue outside of therapy. Books, DVDs and other resources can help you both find ways to feel closer. Also, ask your therapist to recommend a marriage retreat or encounter to help you and your wife spend time working on your marriage. Marriage retreats often can help a marriage get a "boost" by giving the couple a weekend away to focus just on their relationship.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.

Is there anything else I can help you with?

Kate

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