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Dr. Bonnie
Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist and RN
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  35 years experience counseling children and families
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What is wrong with me? I havent seen a medical specialist

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What is wrong with me? I haven't seen a medical specialist because I fear of what he/she might say. I think I may suffer from bipolar disorder, but I am not sure. I am constantly angry for no reason at all, I sometimes take it out on my mom for no reason, she has been nothing but good to me so I don't understand, and it hurts me because I can't control it. I feel depressed. There are times when I want to be around some people to chat with, and other times I want no one to talk to me. One minute I can be happy, and in such short time feeling hopeless. My feelings of depression come and go, after long weeks of feeling fine and hopeful, it came back out of nowhere. I used to be a person known to always be smiling and happy despite feeling depressed on the inside, but I can no longer hide it as well as before.

I feel like I am going insane. Sometimes my mind says negative things that I don't feel, or would ever think to say. It's hard to control it. I always have to say the opposite of the negative thought to make my own feelings count, and not the negative thing. It's my own voice, but not how I really feel. This just started not too long ago.

I've heard negative things about bipolar medication and it's bad side effects. I'm debating what to do.

Thank you for your time.
Hello and thank you for consulting Just Answer,

First I want to make sure you understand that we cannot diagnose you or treat you on this website. However, we can give you information to help you make your decision.

The symptoms you describe may be indicators of Bipolar Illness. However, it is also possible that you suffer from Major Depressive Disorder or another mood disorder (there are several). It takes a face-to-face evaluation by a psychiatrist to be sure. The sooner the illness is treated the better...and the better prognosis for the future. So please do not hesitate to make an appointment. It may take several weeks to get an appointment.

Here is a website that you can see pictures and descriptions of some psychiatrists in your area.

Concerning the medication....there are side effects but you need to weigh the benefits and the side effects. If your symptoms are interfering with your life and it is getting worse, then it might be worth the initial side effects (stomach aches, dizziness, headaches). They usually go away after about 4 weeks.

Along with medication, therapy is recommended. It is interesting that you are trying to change your negative thoughts because that is exactly what is taught in therapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. To find a therapist to here:

It is ultimately your decision, of course, but making the initial visit for a diagnosis does not mean you must try medication. You can find out for sure which diagnosis applies and ask doctor questions about options for treatment. You can also try therapy first.

I hope this helps you take the first step....because early treatment means better chance for relieving symptoms.

Warm regards,
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