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Her relationship w/ you is still somewhat new. In order for her to share more things about herself/her issues, she would want to trust you more.
It is not uncommon for abused women to blame themselves. This is often due to low self esteem and brain washing of sorts by the abuser.
In may cases, the woman does not assert herself or identify with a solid ego. She relies on the abuser for deriving her sense of self. Even if it is negative. Negative attention is still seen as attention. It's unfortunate but over time, she most likely had started to believe everything he says even if it is degrading or abusive to her.
In order to help her, you've got to accept that she alone helps herself. That is a personal choice. If you seem to pressure her to talk or halt her conversations w/ her ex, she may perceive that as controlling.
You could try to assist her in identifying her reason for feeling guilty. Behind her guilt, may be another emotion i.e. feeling abandoned, afraid, etc. This feeling may be subconscious. Therefore, you can try to ask her different open ended questions and see what she says.
At times, abused women are holding onto the relationship w/ the abuser because it is a subconscious attempt to "fix" another relationship from their childhood. Whether that is a relationship w/ an abusive, cold/non demonstrative parent, care giver, a teacher/mentor who had evoked low self esteem, etc.
You can remind her about those qualities in her that you've fallen in love with, compliment her, praise her accomplishments (whatever they may be) and let her know that you're there to listen to her when she wants to have a neutral feedback, or to simply be heard.
Issues relating trauma/abuse often take a long time to be sorted out. Sometimes the abused individuals does not completely works these issues through. If she had not had any kind of counseling about this, it is something to look into.
Not sure if you're still online. Feel free to reply when back on.
She has told me she would see a counsiler can you recomend someone?
you had mentioned assisting her in identifying her reason for feeling guilty. can you give me examples of open ended questions I can ask?