Ask a Psychiatrist and Get Answers to Mental Health Questions ASAP
This is from the last post: I will answer this one in a bit. I have a meeting I have to run to: Steven
I am sorry the previous (first) posting that I made did not go through. I talked a lot about your family and how I was not delusional about the reality of what they are like...your mother is cruel and unfair to you and has been since you were very young. I talked about how she would not necessarily see you as like her, in any way. Indeed, most people who act like she does will often say that they are nothing like the child they seem to dislike, in appearance or in attitude. It is a part of the excusing of their behavior...a form of dehumanizing a the child who bothers them psychologically speaking. They see the typical ordinary human flaws in these "hated" children and despise those flaws that remind them of their own shortcomings. To balance this cruel treatment they undo the "hate" by creating a love object, a boy usually, who they can pour out their unconditional acceptance and praise. It is a mess and it is so hurtful, and mom does it galore. I do want you to know that you have value that is apart from what mom or anyone says. You do have a role in the family, dysfunction on their part or not. A 100 dollar bill is still a 100 dollar bill, even if it has been treated as plain paper. And crying every ten minutes…that is not you. Considering all things that go on with you and the stress of your family; his family; the job; the past job; the bills…it is all just too much. I really see you are being rather tough, not fragile. And riding you to work? That is the least he could do for you after what he said. Hopefully dr b will come through on the other rides. I think he will when he can. He strikes me as the rescuer type. Steven
Rob did drive you to work? He should have. He needed to after the every ten minute comment. And, I like that Kate got to see the hospital triage area. That is pretty cool I have to admit.
Why is it that when you ask someone for a ride they always seem to know someone else who can drive you, but who has issues, like this lady...who drives like she is in nascar? (and in this case someone you do not like...at least you now know that your instincts about why are still good.)
80mph and a bubble in the sidewall of her tire? Holy crap! You are lucky to be alive. You got home I see, but you must have been sweating it, big time. That sounds totally unnerving. Just what you need, a stressful seatbelt suspension from the DMV and a ride by a crazy woman in a nissan. You might have gone in to early labor if this kept up.
Amazing! The cost to take a cab! 100 dollars each way? That is what they should pay a chopper service to take you directly to the hospital heliopad. I can hardly take in that it is that much.
Dr b! Hey, had me going for a while as I was reading his comment about staying with you. He is in a funny mood, for certain. But I would not feel guilty about him taking you. He owes you I think .You cover well for him and have helped him out on numerous occasions. It is not like you are asking for a million bucks. (the cab company is though) The fact is that he drives right past your neighborhood. He can afford the slight inconvenience.
I feel badly for Terri. She really feels awful about that kid. 103 is not that outrageous if the child is still functional. And in a hospital setting that kind of fever is not unheard of. I had a fever that high once. I didn't seize or die. What would, other than a really large sense of guilt, cause her to feel that she missed it? You did the right thing. You helped her out and tried to tell her the truth. It is not your fault if she cannot accept it. It is certainly sad, but definitely not her, or your, fault.
There is always a nurse cc who must know why someone does not have this or that. You could have told her it was impounded for a drug search, but knowing your place of employment that would result in questioning by some high official. Good thing you did not tell her why you needed a ride. She sounds like the village gossip.
Dr a wants to give you a ride? Ah, no...200.00 in that case, well worth it. An hour earlier might not be so wonderful, but at least it is with dr b and not a. Yikes is a great word to describe that offer.
Did I miss something about the 718 NYC number? Is that a good or a bad thing? I hate to be naive but I just do not know. Steven
well last night was interesting as always. dr b finally texted me 20 min before we were leaving and said see u then. i wasnt dressed, b/c i thought i was going to take a cab b/c i figured he wasnt going to pick me up. which upset me. i figured well you cant expect people to go out of their way and take time out. he then told me 445pm. he showed up at 515pm, i kept thinking oh hes not coming. i figured if he wasnt there by 530 - id call a cab to come for 6pm and id make it on time as i was going in 1 hr early to go with dr b.
dr b showed up and he was like i think were going to be late. i said nah lets go.
hes looking on the gps n i say well u know i drive to the hosp from here all the time. i can tell u. he says well this is a really good gps. i said ok and the gps proceded to tell him exactly the way i was telling him.
so we talked and then he was telling me about this podcast that er mds have. it was pretty funny,
although nerdy - it gives scenarios and top physicians discuss their thoughts and legal aspects - the funniest thing was a scenario that had an agitated - under the influence of drugs etoh pt whos screaming curse words - and the md on the show says dont hear f**k you dr so and so hear dr so and so my blood levels are too low of ketachmine.
so we got there early actually n sat in the parking lot. i felt very conspicous sitting there but didnt want to make a big deal.
so the night started busy but slowed down.
dr b asked how it was driving with nurse cc. i said uh.. i white knuckled it...so he laughed and said i never wear my seatbelt but i did with her to go mcdonalds one night... i said i was looking to see if the car has an airbag...
so he laughed.
i got another ride home with nurse cc and while she was driving on the hi way someone else tire shredded and her car got hit with several pieces of a tire im like wtf whos tire is that? all of a sudden we saw a car with essentially no tire fly from the m iddle lane into the right lane squealing screaming noise of the metal hitting the concrete and sparks flying shes like holy shit and i say yeah thats if you dont get your freaking tire fixed..
so dr b says to me btw dr a is going to take u home b/c i cant.
he had made it clear he couldnt and i didnt ask. so im like what? spo he says hes doing me the favor . i took you in so i shud be taking u home. i said look its not ur fault and you dont owe me anything.
he says oh btw wanted to tell u nice house its very quaint. i said yeah its too little. he said well i like it... i said thx.
then he had been telling me about he wants to get a house i sad u shud move to glen head and i explaoned how between water the million dollar neighborhood and then a hi way keeps it perfect n untoucheable plus no public transport. he was like oh..
so i said nothing to dr a as i thought maybe dr b was busting my chops. i hoped at least.
dr b says so whats wrong with your car (it was parked in front of my house btw..) he said i cant remember what u said.. i mustve not been listening. i said well see how nice u are?
so he said so why cudnt u drive? i said i didnt say and laughed it off. he said oh you were trying to get me alone in the car werent you?
i said uh i think ur the one who wants to be alone with me.
then he said it was fun carpooling. talking on the way in and everything. i said yeah it is.
we talked about his ex again hes going to key west with her for a mutual friends wedding. i told him ur crazy. he said i already told her she better behave. i said look what kind of woman is she is iif u have 2 threaten her? i said thats embarassing.
he said i told her she pisses me off i m getting onthe next plane home.
i said dr b the only indicator we have of future behavior is past. i said theres so many beautiful great women out there...i dont get it.
he told me he has a bad girls complex (duh) and women come with a certain amt of crazy.. (uh no they dont thank u.)
theres a new dr at work shes dr r and shes pretty n smart n nice (so far..) she came a month ago. i said dr b what about her? he says maybe. she just broke up with some1. i said ok wait like 1 more day ask her.
ugh my god. btw dr bs father.. was a big executive at ibm.
so nurse cc had a fight with dr a. apparently he told her that she was socializing too much. so she said she told him she didnt give a shit what he thought, her work was done she was watching her pts.
i was like whoa.
so i got a sick pt at the end of the shift. this nurses aide jermaine his mother is a nurse and hes older than me for sure. nice hardworking but maybe not the smartest sandwich in the picnic.
i needed help holding the pt. i put 2 iv lines was pushing meds straight cathing the pt, the pt was confused. he said how i have a posture about me. i said what kind of posture? he says i dont know. just that u dont take shit.
i said oh baby i take alot of shit. he said well where did u work b4 this? i said in the city. he said oh so u got it going on girl.
he said liz ur a really good nurse. i said thx, i said u shudve seen me in my prime. he said i see u running this place. n whipping it into shape.
i said yeah i dont know..
so i said i used to be a charge nurse..he sad see it shows. i said jermaine thank u for the flattery. as i was standing up i got a back spasm so bad i had tears in my eyes n i felt like i had a collapsed lung. seriously. i knew it wasnt that bad. but i was in alot of pain.
o hobbled over to the drs to tell them that the pt had pulled on the foley and it was bloody now. a female dr whos been fired but still working there said r u ok? i said yeah back spasm. so she says sit sit. dr a is there n he says r u in labor? so i was leaning forward in the chair n i look up n say no. he says r u sure? how preg r u ? i said almost 32 weeks. he said look just b/c u dot trust me to drive u home doesnt mean i cant deliver ur baby. i said uh ... i got a ride with nurse cc.. (not knowing they had a fight at this point..)
and dont u live on the north shore? he says yes. now if he drove me home hed drive 30 miles in and then drive 30 miles back to the hosp to drive 10 - 12 miles north. its 2 far. he had to talk to some1 n i got the hell out of there.
i get back to my seat and he comes by and says where do u live? i tell him. so he nods. so then he says that hes off tonight n he can take me.
i said i appreciate the offer but nurse cc is right near me. and dr b is in the next town. so he said something about taking me home wud be hilarious n i looked at cc and she was like.. hes an asshole i dont know what he means.
btw rob heard officially from con d he can start oct 16th. hes pretty happy.
he told andy n andys like oh crap. then he said lets do lunch but h e cant today b/c he has to get his daughter an american girl doll at the american girl store by their job..
i told rob they shud bring the girls n have tea... n me n andys wife can get drunk. rob said theyd have to get drunk to take the girls to tea at the american girl store...
oh and apparently i have been able to drve since sat when i paid according to the dmv. it says scafflow paid fine.
ive been called alot of things but not a scafflow thats for sure...
well add that to the list...
hey steve. somehow ur post didnt come up til i just posted this post which i almost lost n took me like an hr to write.
anyway 718 is a nyc number. it was the area code that queens got after 212. whe n i was a kid the number was 212 and they needed to free up numbers so they made queens/ brooklyn 718. now its the 2nd oldest area code with stupid 647 numbers and people out here laugh as i got verizon to keep my number as its my cell.
there is a seinfeld episode about the area code status in ny...
and my not being like my mom is a perfectly life affirming thing for me. i domt want to look or be like her. she is def not a role model.
anyway have to go to sleep ttyl.
Weird the post did not surface until after you posted. I have been having some odd things occur like that recently.
Thank you for explaining the NY area code thing. I was totally lost and was like, "Am I seriously out of touch that I do not know this?" I feel better that it is mainly a NY thing. Even on Seinfeld I would probably have missed it.
Dr b needs a wife, if only to keep him on time. I have too much German in me to keep anyone waiting for a ride. My Italian friend, Deluca, he is like dr b when it comes to appointments and schedules. You will hear from him, and then see him...eventually. He is always late. I am always on time. It drives me nuts. But at least Dr b showed and he complimented your cute house. (He makes it sound like it is a doll house or something. Does he even live in a house?)
Don't you know that men will listen to our GPS units 75% faster than a woman who actually knows where she is going? It is a male thing. Technology is to be believed, even if it is wrong, over a human female. We are all sick people us men; I tell you, sick.
Dr b's podcast sounds like fun. It gave me some ideas for one that we could do in this (my) field. It would be a hoot. Thank you Liz and Dr b.
And he really does see to like talking with you. I bet the drive in was kind of nice for him, seeing you and all. It gives him someone sane to talk with and he gets to share some of his crazy life with you. Speaking of: Now, going places with his ex is strange, and he also thinks he has a bad girl complex and that keep shim from finding someone? I think he has an insane girlfriend complex instead. Bad girls? I don't think so. He seems attracted to borderline personality disorders. Rescuer mentality that is... They like to date the equivalent of a supermodel on crack. Clean they are great, but sadly they mostly are not..and he likes that unstable type. All women are unstable he says? Sounds like a huge rationalization for poor dating choices to me.
I see you and dr b have shared experience of nurse cc, the death race 2012 winner. I can actually see her drive as you describe it, with the bubble on the sidewall of the tire; the shrieking of the car whose wheel came off and the insanity of being in a car where you literally do not know if you will survive. at least cc has a bead on dr a and what he is really like. I will give her points for that insight.
The NA sounded like a really nice guy, albeit not the brightest bulb, but he did give you an insightful comment and I hope you took it in. You are bright and very good at direction. I know you say that people make you nuts and you might not want to supervise, but you would be great at it. I think you could really ship shape the place. And you know what is really going on. How is your back by the way? That kind of spasm is painful. I have had them, not due to pregnancy of course...lol...They hurt like nothing else, kind of a sweet laughable pain that surges through you in waves, culminating a crescendo of twisted tearfulness.
Dr a saying he wanted to ride you home and then finding some weird amusement in saying so was odd wasn't it? He is several bricks shy sometimes. I do not blame you for wanting to avoid him at almost all costs.
I just knew Rob had the job. This ConEd place is just like government. It is a big game of delays. But once you are in, you are in. Congratulations! I bet you are happy too. He starts a new job and then you both have a baby. The day is getting really close isn't it? Just a month and a half now. When will you call it quits? Any changes to that thinking? You seem like you are doing well.
I laughed at the get drunk to take the girls to the American Girl Store comment.
That was funny. But it is not that bad is it? It is a little cheesy but not terrible.
Well, I guess you get labeled by the DMV, even if it is not your fault. Indeed you are even called names, nice. I suppose they never heard of extenuating circumstances. Steven (But I am glad you have your license back...you even more than me feeling that way I would say.) Steven
hi steve. i had another busy / interesting night.
it again was busy at the beginning. it slowed down and i was working with 2 other nurses.
one was irene a quiet no nonsense nurse.
and then crazy joy.
she did so many crazy things.. well i guess ill be lucky if she doesnt get me fired. i mean, i cant believe her.
the 1st was that she wanted boneless buffalo wings. she bugged a whole bunch of male staff about her need of wings. she talked lawrence the aide into calling applebees to find out if half price appetizers were available for take out. that was a big no. so shes trying to get lawrence to go applebees. but he cant its too busy for him to leave. well then she says to joe another aide whos shift ends at 11pm, look go to applebees. sitdown order all the appetizers, then tell them ur on calll n u have to leave. then take it all to go.
so im sitting there shocked. so i looked at joe and was like yeah joe youre not a loser without anything to do...
remeber that chick u were going to bang after ur shift? forget her. go get joy wings. oh and btw im back sun, can u save me a spot in the parking lot til then?
he starts laughing like crazy n walks away.
i saw him somwhere else where joy wasnt n i said. can u believe her? he said shes crazy. i said uh yeah.
i mean if she was blowing u , then id understand. but i wouldnt ask a man who wasnt getting sex from me to get me wings at 12mn.
i mean we all know that money and pussy make the world go round. so joes laughing. he says liz ur the best.
so next shes saying while the tele tech is on break that hes a germophobe. so she tells the nurses aides this n frankly they go and get a urinal n put apple juice in it. they put it by his desk. he comes back. all hell breaks loose. hes cursing... i walk away b/c my desk is in front of his and i didnt want to be in the fray of it.
he tells the charge nurse that he wants it written up. so i get questioned by her n say honestly i dont know who did it..
joy says she thought it up (to me privately but told the aides and they did it..) i said ok well whatever.
later im told by the charge nurse joy said it was a collaboration. of course im worried that ill be implicated or questioned.
joy has a difficult pt, hes drug seeking and shes fighting with him. well he gets a bed and as he comes out of the room on the stretcher he says where s my nurse? i said shes with a pt. so he says well tell her thx alot ill be reporting to administration. i say nothing b/c frankly steve im really pissed by this point.
later i overhear her asking a new female nurses aide if shes a lesbian.
i say ok im walking away.
after that shes asking me where my car is and what was wrong with it. i say nothing was wrong with the car. so now shes trying to guess what happened. i said joy its really not a big deal n its none of your business. she says just tell me. i say why do you even care? i never tell her.
btw dr b actually tried again to ask me. he reiterates that i wanted to be alone in the car with him. i said oh sweetie, i think that was you who wanted to be with me.. (btw he had to driveout of his way b/c my town is closer to the city and the hosp is the other direction..and then rebound back with me. in rush hr. he spent at least 30 min to do it for me..)
i told dr b that he shud date crazy f**king joy b/c he likes that shit. he said ur not the 1st person to say that. i said yeah good luck with that...
i told him look date dr r. shes pretty shes younger, shes educated... she seems normal. he said yeah maybe...
then i said oh pls dr b. you need to have found me before i got married. he said youre not a bad girl. i said you dont need a bad girl. you need someone wholl keep you in your place n keep u on track.
he kind of hemmed and hawwed....
he did admit he missed me driving in...
terri had a tough nite. her co nurse went home on her team sick apparently. so she had to take the whole section.
i tried helping her- she made it hard i got a few things done for her...
we were leaving n she said she had to go to a triage meeting. i aid what? what meeting? i didnt hear anything about a meeting...
so she says its with rachel the educator... so i said oh shit. terri looked scared actually and i said ok, this could be discipline. she didnt say anything n i said ok take a minute...
so i told her the usual i say before a meeting, dont admit to anything, dont sign anything, be polite but argue with them, tell them vague answers like im not sure, i dont recall, ill have to get back to you about that.. etc.
terris nodding like people do when theyre frightened. i said terri youll be good. youre a street dog like me. keep ur chin up take the punch but dont get knocked out. she nods and goes.
i have to go to employee health, i got signed off so im not in trouble but they had no flu shots (jerk offs) and they wouldnt give me a ppd b/c the director says its cat c and if the nurses is preg theyre administering a class c drug. i said well ive had them every yr and ive been preg. the nurse says youll have to come to return to work, after mat leave so just have them catch u then. i said ok fine. i find them so annoying.
i comeback n terris just out of her meeting n she looks upset i said ok what?
so apparently theyre auditing charts and she didnt fill out cetain boxes like prior to arrival treatment. bt she writes it inthe main triage note and they admit that.
so phrases that were said were that she needs alot of education but theyll get her there.
keisha says theyre going to work on her til she gets it right, theyre not throwing her away, and if they have to have this same meeting every month they will. and theyll get her there.
all phrases personally i dont like. condescending for sure.
i walked terri out and i was trying to cheer her up...
it didnt work n she says i dont ever want to be in there being spoken to again.
f course im worried ill be called in there. they called other nurses too.
so doreens paralegal called and woke me up. she tells me the check i sent which hasnt been cashed - needs t have a stop payment placed on it and a new check needs to be reissued. she said it was put in a secure place but was missing.
so then she says if the bank tried to charge you a fee tell them that youre going to close your account and take your banking elsewhere.
so i say to her paralegal. im not fighting with bank of america. ill reissue you the check. i cant hide my disdain now b/c i mean im dead asleep n then they f**k up and dont offer to have me deduct the amt of the bank fee from this check which is what i would do. like theyre hustling me. its their fault they lost the check.. no?
so the paralegal says you werent sleeping were you? so i said uh yeah i was.
i was pretty pissed steve ill tell u.
i am happy to have my license back. and im hoping assholes at my job stop asking me why i couldnt drive those few days
Maybe you could clone Irene. You need a lot less drama at work.
Nurse Joy? What is she a diva? That example of her ordering people around to serve her is classic narcissism. What the heck is it with people there? It seems every third person has self value issues, as in...they see themselves as superior to others. I know a few people who would have been less than accommodating to her request. If she wants boneless wings at Applebee's she needs to get them herself. Wow...that is crazy.
Although it was all made a joke, the entire idea that anyone but her should get food or save a parking space or anything like it is just absurd. And sex being a motivator. I am not sure if being treated like that is worth sex or money. It is degrading, at least that it came across that way to me.
The apple juice in a portable urinal? I would have her written up if it can be proved she did it. That is abusive. Great, a narcissistic and abusive person. Isn't there enough of them there already? I doubt greatly, based on your interaction with Joe, that you would be implicated in any of this. And you know...looking at her behavior overall. Okay, some of this is narcissistic, but other parts of this look like she is on drugs. Think so? She is certainly acting like it, all the inhibitions are off line.
Dr b was very nice to drive you in. he is a nice guy who is confused about women. You are right. He needs a stable and steady woman who will keep him in-line. He is attracted to those who are the opposite, I think mainly because he is afraid of losing someone he really cares about. He settles for crazy. He needs nurse joy like you need to have triplets.
Your entire hospital experience, even with Terri and others, is like an ongoing inquisition. Although the hospital said that they are not going to throw her away. (nice phrasing if they actually said they, a metaphor for garbage...) She still has to walk on eggshells and that she needs a lot of education??? Why not just say she is clueless. Could they be any more condescending? I think if they were going to call you in, they would have already. You are also geared up because of your last experience in your old job and I would bet you are super careful about what you write and say. If something is said to you, I can pretty much guarantee that it would be a minor issue.
If the attorney lost the check and you have to do a stop payment they need to eat the cost of your fee, and they will charge you in most cases. I would tell them (attorney) that you incured a fee, and deduct it from the new payment. That is their fault and they blame you? If I collect a check from someone, a client, and I lose it...oh well...my loss. If they refuse to rewrite it, oh well, my fault. I fail to see how this is on your plate? Plus they wake you? Nice...You could call this last post of yours the narcissism post, for that is all you seem to have been exposed to...sheese. Steven
well u miss that i made the joke and told that poor guy joe save me a parking spot and only if youre getting pussy from her shud you go and get her wings.
not for nothing steve rob is very good about that for me.
i know its crzay and i try not to send him anywhere but when im preg im so... well easily bothered by things. like smells or appearance of food/ texture. and he says how i cant eat when im preg. hes right. quite a couple of times wed go soemwhere that i really wanted to or get what i really wanted and id taste it o r see it and i cant eat it.
even the other day i was eating and i literally ate half a hamburger. n one onion ring. i was feeding kate, and the guy came to take the food away thats how long it had been and rob says shes not done... and i say no i am. i cant eat anymore. and we hadnt eaten for several hours as we were out shopping. i think it was over 8 hrs actually. and rob said r u sure? i said yeah.
he tells that to everyone oh she cant et etc and im like im sure theyre like u sure rob? shes fat. he said last night youre 8 months preg liz and im like im fat. (poor rob he has to deal with the crazy. i ate half a sandwich and hes hugging me and i said youre practically in the next room due to my belly and hes like not really liz... he thinks i dont look big for 8 months. then again i had another nurse say youre preg? i said yeah 8 months and she said oh shit i didnt know..)
anyway i wouldnt ask anyone to go soemwhere if i wasnt sleeping with him honestly. joe and lawrence both agreed that if it was a girl they were sleeping with theyd be there already getting the wings lol.
i think joy thinks shes funny and cool. seriously. i think shes bi polar.
or has add.
the tele tech isnt joe, its another guy whos an older indian guy.. apparently soemone told him sorry which satisfied him to soem extent but i dotn know how much it will do. if its a joke, i mean theres several ways to deal with that.
as the joked on person. well if youre not on camera.. i might get pretty close to spilling that "urine" on soemone til someone confessed.. i def wouldnt let it bother me.
or you play it cool, you pick it up disinfect roll your eyes. thats it.
its like sya you hate baby wipes. youll be covered in baby wipes. so dont tell people you hate them you know?
if people know what gets your goat well... theyre going to do it.
when the chrge nurse asked me outside about it i told her a urinal isnt funny. and im funny.
its lame. she laughed at that. i told her if i bothered wih a joke itd be a good joke...
like i told her how jen ( a diff one..) said she heard that people wnated wings so when she left at 11 she went to applebees and got them. well that pissed joy off (and well i and irene who overheard it... laughed..)
dr b needs a classic woman. a sexy smart one wholl be able match him to keep him in line.
the lines i said were actually said to terri, and i found them insulting to say the least. they came out yest with all this stuff that is about what or how we shud be documenting.
and heres the thing were being inspected right now. hosp go into a tailspin when thats going on but not for nothing why dont they initia.te these things way in advance? b/c now you have people messing up.
b/c theyre not used to whatever youre trying to get them to do. you dont want the nurses to look frantic. which we are. my best advice is when theyre under inspection this is really a mangement problem (f**k management) and go in the rooms. talk to the pts do pt care - even if its early - not crazy early but if you have meds and its an hour before, id start doing them. inspectors are not going to stop pt care. and you cant get in trouble b/c youre visible and doing appropriate work. it worked for my nurses all the time. or if they throw you for a loop, you tell them youre not sure, youll check on it, youll call your super to come and help. as long as you have a resource to find out... well youre fine.
as far as my documentation, i try but like vitals arent always done every 4 hrs..
and its all of a sudden so i know i havent been completely compliant when i read the 6 page paper about documentation. im a good documenter but i know no one has been compliant with this stupid list.
i think theyre really checking on triage and i was only out there 1 day in the last 9 or 10 weeks. so... there it is.
i wish i had been able to prep terri better than i had. she advised me about the urinal... she said when they ask what did u see? i said oh i didnt see anything. i came back and i t was there...
and terri goes.. exactly.
as far as the lawyer they know theyre wrong. i mean seriously. jerkoffs. i reissued the check b/c i really dont want her to keep calling me and im going to tell her a ll communication shud be thru email from now on. b/c i mean this is complete bullshit.
its bad enough to call em and resend the check. they look like morons. but to say oh if they try to charge u a fee u shud tell them ull take ur business elsewhere, i feel like telling her ill take my future business (and references for that matter) elsewhere. i did have another lawyer standing by.
ps it was a little weird being in the car with dr b...
oh and eddie called to say thank u for the basket and said hi for me and kate - he left a message - rob calle d him yest and he was at a meeting so eddie will c all him back now... robs start date is oct 16th. i want to get hima gift. i think a leather briefcase. he actually uses a backpack now b/c he used to complain all those bags bothered him the shoulder strap bags...
btw im trying to woo my husband with sex to get a new sectional couch.. but i want a leather one that reclines so i think its worth it...
oh and dr b says something to me in italian every night now. like a line or 2...
i wonder how fluent he actually is.. maybe he looks up something everyday?
i pretty much understand him.. it easier for me to understand than it is for me to speak a language...
So, dr b is trying to talk with you in Italian...hmmm, your own personal Rosetta Stone I see. I am not sure if I should say that is great, or what on earth is he doing that for? I mean, you either speak a language or you do not. So, is he trying to show you he speaks it (rather pointless) or is he trying to teach you. (odd, but okay) or is he trying to impress you (likely).
As far as the sectional couch...what is the ratio of "favors" to couch acquisition? Men are so basic when it comes to being manipulated by sex. Yet, it is a historic battle; kingdoms have been given for it. So wings should not be a surprise.
My wife had similar issues when she was pregnant, about the food and such. That seems to be pretty common I think. Textures and taste all change and what your brain thinks it might like vs what your body actually wants is often very different. I know you are healthy during this pregnancy, so having an occasional food avoidance day is not that bad.
Being a man with a pregnant wife is its own set of wonder. I can recall many conversations like you had with Rob about how you see yourself and what you think about your body. And, from what I recall I was never able to convince my wife anything different than she thought, although I think she appreciated the effort.
Joy, ADD or Bipolar? People with ADHD cause distraction and interruptions, but not intentionally. That lets her off that particular diagnostic hook. Bipolar? A hypomania might be mild enough to allow her to work and still function marginally. That could explain somethings you describe, but without any observable periods of depression I might not buy that either, although it is possible. She acts like she is on something, at least to me. Or she is so personality disordered that she is a borderline pd...That might get my vote for the day.
Although the apple juice urine thing is somewhat funny, at a kids camp level...it is odd in a workplace, although I totally agree. If you let someone know that you are bothered by things, like creepy crawlies or similar. Well, you are dead, for all they will do is inundate your desk with rubber caterpillars, millipedes and so forth. Why people say what their buttons are amazes me. It is like holding up a kick me sign.
I think you are an angel when it comes to the attorney fee. They lose the check, too bad. But to wake you up and make demands about a stop payment and to give you advice about how to handle the bank fee. That is totally over the top. I think you have every right to be angry. Email only is a great option.
Being in the car with dr b was probably weird for you both. You have a work relationship, and to take it out of context is odd for anybody. I would not give that another thought. It happens. I would worry of you felt totally comfortable with him there. It would show there were no emotional boundaries.
A leather briefcase is snazzy. How about this too. It says: "I'm grounded" in engineering electrical symbols
dr bs teasing me.
he thinks ill find it impressive. like it takes that much to get me in bed. lol. rob got me into bed and knocked up and never spoke italian.. or german or anything to me..
heck im lucky he talks to me in english most of the time.
as far as you niticing/ or the argument you put up for your wife compared to rob noticing me... well im sure you can blow him away.
i pretty much have to hit him over the head to get him to understand.
i felt alot prettier withmy other preg. this one i feel like ive been dragged thru the mud.
rob said well we can get what we can afford with the couch. we cant afford a couch i wanted him to do a 401k withdrawal n get the couch and then id save next yr for the dining room set. i guess i will decide which annoys me more (the dining room) and get it after this baby.
oh funny things..
was looking for baby stuff, saw a onesie that said - im proof my mommys not a virgin
a bib that said this i s really a cape the bitch put it on backwards.
oh rob was in the shower and kate got in the bathroom, she ran up to the shower curtain stuck her head in and yelled surprise. rob had his back to her facing the shower so she only saw his butt...
i t def startled him..
do you think she was trying t see what daddy has?
on another note... im a glutton for punishment.
we went back to mommy and me its been in recess or what not for a month. so kate likes her teacher named jen. or miss jen well call her.
so we go and miss jens so happy to see her. so i get kate inside and miss jen asks me wheres jen? i said i dont know, she said she was coming.
jen came late said the baby needed to be fed.. whatever.
she brings the baby in in the carseat. covered with a blanket. i said what is this let me see this kid. so i take the blanket off and i say hi bella how r u ? shes wide eyes looking at me.. so jen comes back in and is like what r u doing? i sid talking to the baby. so she says oh im going to leave her over here. and puts the blanket back over her. draped but.. i mean wtf?
so she parks her in the corner of the kitchen of mommy nd me and were going inot the main room. so im like jen this thing with the blanket bullshit is going to be a cps case soon. what r u doing?
so she says well i dotn wnat all the kids touching her. i said ok... but i mean why dont u just leave her in the minivan by herself then?
so she laughs as other moms do, but well i wasnt kidding.
ok... so miss jen tells jen she doesnt want her to leave the baby in the next room. so she brings her in and i am sitting with kate and kate is doing free time play. kate wants to see the baby and i tell her the babys sleeping and we have class. i feel bad since she wants to see the baby so much.
so we do the class and jen leaves the baby now in the playroom and were in the next room again. i said jen bring her inot the circle thing and dance and do stuff wiht her. let her watch the kids. she leaves her with the blanket over her head and apparently isabella bored fell asleep. (btw kate would never let me leave her like from a few days old..and i mean from an infant kate would cry if i left the room seriously. her kid didnt cry for the 4 hrs i was with them.)
we do circle time and kates doing her thing. we finish and its pouring and jens like where r we going?
i said dont know. its pouring out. so she say lets go to mc donalds. so we got to one that has an indoor thing thats just been renovated.
so im watching the girls and jen says ill get the food sit down. so kates trying to tlak to cassie and cassie says im not talking to you. so kate says you wont talk to baby? but its me. i see kates face and she just seemed genuinely shocked. (i remember being like this too, an easy going friendly kid with other asshole kids being mean to me for whatever their problem was.) so i dont say anything to cassie. i check the baby and shes asleep. so kate keeps trying to get cassie to tlak to her and i end it and say thats ok if cassie doesnt want to talk. i pull out kates disney junior magazine. it has games and stories puzzles. so we start looking at it. so cassie comes over and i say oh i thought you werent speaking to us. i know this is childish but well jens kids and their bullshit is getting old with me. its several times cassies in soem sort of mood she wont play she wont hug and noww she wont tlak to kate. and frankly i think it sucks. my daughter plays with kids she meets on the playground and is just easy going. she say hi to everyone she meets. and well i think thats the way to be.
so cassie sits back and kind of pouts. maggie has 2 boys and she comes back with them. so jen brings the food and the everyones eating. jen says that isabella has been choking and vomiting on the formula. so i said on the sensitive? its def been 3 weeks since i saw her so i said well you shudve advanced to the rice formula by now then... (similac makes one that has a rice part to it for spit up..) so she says well on mon the dr said skip that and go to altimentum. so i said oh crap. altimentum is hard to find and on top of that more expensive. literally $13 a bottle. reg similac is $5. they drink one day about...
so i say so shes doing better on that? so she says well i didnt get it yet. its friday. so i say well what are you waiting for? so she says well the ins is supposed to pay for it. according to nother girl we work with. so i say i think theyre not going to b/c its not the special sterile one or the special preemie one etc.
so jen says i have to call the ins. well she doe it while were at mc donalds. so the kids are yelling and she yells at all the kids for yelling in a playground instead of her going out to m ake the call.
so apparently the peds office already tried to get i tauthorized but the ins denied it. so shes arguing wiht the woman and i say so do you have the formula? so she says no it costs $13 a bottle. so she tells the woman well itll be the ins fault if her kid chokes aspirates and get s aspiration pna. so im trying to keep my mouth shut steve. trying.
she gets off the line and i say jen you shud have the formula. it could take them 30 days on an appeal. get the formula and get her out of trouble and if u win u win. so i said does she wheeze after she drinks it? so she says yeah. i said well then u better get the altimentum. th wheezing cud be aspiration or a milk allergy.
now steve if the ped told me look get the altimentum id be at the store right after that.
so i lift up the blanket and i tell a sleeping isabella.. look you want to live with me? all the altimentum u can drink and ill leave you without a blanket on ur head.
so maggie and jen are talking and cassie wont play shes hanging around us. telling on all the kids. conner did this.. kate screamed etc. im ignoring her.
well the b aby wakes and jens making a bottle. so she makes it and i look over and she has the bottle between her legs. not by her knees mind you. like all the way by her groin. so im like.. what? so shes telling me and maggie that her and chris warm the bottle by putting it under their arm or between their legs. so i have maggie in between us. so i cant hold back anymore and say so u dont wnat me to touch the baby cuz my hands are dirty even if i wash them but u have a her bottle in your pussy? so ur pussy is cleaner tha n my hands now?
maggie start s laughing and goes omg i gotta get the f**k out of here. shes laughing so hard.. so jens like im not naked. im like thats sterile? so maggie says hey jen they sell tea here ask them to buy a cup of hot water for f**ks sake.
jen ended up leaving but, i mean im insulted here steve.
she said to me youre kidding right? i said not really.
i dont know if i pushed it too hard, but.. well..
i said to rob bad news im going to go get jens baby and were adopting it. it need special $13 a bottle formula. so rob says ok tell me where to get the formula. and what it looks like.
and steve i swear to god thats what he would say . i completely think its true. i told him youre really ok with that? i said not for our baby. for jens. and rob says just tell me what to do liz.
ill do it.
so do you think i pushed jen too hard with her kids?
oh and btw at mommy and me she says.. oh liz.. i was such a bitch while i was preg.. so i say nothing. so they get me a chair and i say thats ok ill sit with kate. on the floor.
so jen then says youre tkaing this whole preg thing better than me. i was crazy while i was preg... so im not saying anything, so she tried to bait me again. so i said jen what do u want me to say? nooo. you were awesome? like to make u feel better? so the moms are laughing...
btw joy i thought maybe joy is manic right now as we only know her a month or less..
but i like bpd as a better choice for her...
oh and the nervousness was like a tension. dr b seemed at ease actually. i think i wudve been more at ease if i was driving.. as a control type thing i think...
i felt very self conscious.
ps rob said the t shirt is clever...
Sorry for the delay. I will have to connect on Monday. My mother is in the hospital and we have been there most all of the weekend. Steven
hi steve, im sorry to hear that - is she ok?
anyway take all the time you need. no hurry . well talk soon
My mother, she is sort of okay. She was vomiting blood and they have yet to find the source, so they are looking via various tests. She has some other tests this morning. She seems better though, and she has not vomited for 36hrs...but her sodium is low and she was confused and you know the drill.
Dr b thinks you will be impressed by Italian? Well, I guess that is as good of a language as any. At least Italian is a romance language and sounds nice. He could have spoken to you in German or Russian. That would not have been very enticing, although perhaps more language "impressive" in general.
Rob is an engineer. By tradition in psychology they are not the most emotionally insightful people. Good problem solvers, but insight into feelings and thoughts...just not there oftentimes. As far as looking good in pregnancy: I believe each one is different in almost all ways. Some, at least from what I have seen, make a woman feel more feminine, more desirable. Some just make you feel like a washrag that was left on the street. (Those are usually the boy pregnancies I think!)
I love the cape bib one...that is hysterical. A couch? I thought thought you were saving for a dining room set?
At kate's age, humor is pretty confined to concrete stuff. I doubt she had any motivation other than trying to be humorous. She is at the age where her humor should be developing in leaps and bounds. While it is possible that she is anatomically curious, that usually waits a bit longer and is most often questions, not actions.
Jen is, well, very odd. I know some mom's like her. They were all adopted children, she is too isn't she? They tend to create emergencies and deny proper care in a passive sort of way, like getting the proper formula. The children are like Cassie sometimes, irritable and distant, like they have a bonding issue, which they do. Sadly, Jen is claiming to be protecting the baby. I think she is isolating the baby and withholding, emotionally and also in terms of full care. You are so right. My first had a milk allergy and needed the special formula, a fortune of course, and we got it that same day; heck we even got a sample right there so we would not have to worry about giving the baby any more of the old stuff. Wheezing? Oh my gosh. I do not blame you for being so concerned. There are messages all over the place that Jen has tons of emotional issues that are being displaced onto her children. I doubt she will kill them with active neglect, but passive actions, they are already being seen. I understand your reaction to wanting the baby home with you. You are watching a case of passive neglect unfold right in front of you.
Cassie is showing some signs of minor childhood depression. Irritability and reluctance to communicate with peers is a classic sign along with the odd sort of attention seeking that she does. It is really quite sad and I would let Kate know that when Cassie ignores her that it is not her fault. Some kids are just not playful. (or something simple she can understand that removes the responsibility for Cassie's actions from her.)
I won't even go into what I think of heating a bottle be being held in a crotch. Ah, gross...and not very effective at that.
I think you were totally fine with her. I would have said the same type of things. Jen is so oblivious and scary with her insight and with her children. She has tons of emotional baggage from somewhere that surfaces with care giving and with relational issues. She has to be adopted, right? That fits so well.
Joy is bipolar maybe...well, it would not be the first nurse I knew of, by any means, who had that diagnosis. At least the hypomanias will not last more than a few weeks, if that is what she has. So, she will either get a lot better, and then depressed, or she will spike a mania and you can 302 her. Fun, Fun your workplace!
I have felt the same thing when other people drove me places, like to work. I like the control of driving myself. It just feels better.
I thought the grounded shirt was funny. They had others on zazzle.com too. I love that site for unique t-shirts. Steven
so i know ur not looking for advice, but well im giving it to you anyway.
was moms vomit black or red? does she take anticoagulants?
if it was black did she take pepto bismol? if she did.. that causes black tarry stool and black vomitus.
of course if it was re d it means she had an ulcer. she shud be on a protonix drip and hopefully its healed itself as these things do. if it did. well good. forget it. and have her take the protonix by mouth every day. or carafate. it also works well.
ok the next thing and bust their chops... what are her platelets? if theyre low. make them transfuse her platelets. i say this seriously as a gi bleed with low platelets is a deadly combo. they may say oh its 350 which is only a little low. (shud be over 400.) well heres how i feel. better safe than sorry. a gi bleed out of control is a way to die quickly. i dont wnat to say that to scare you, i say it to be serious. tell the attending, (you have a way with words and armed with knowledge youll kill them) i would feel better shes over 400 and persuade persuade. make sure theyr e not giving her aspirin or heparin.
ok now gthe low sodium can confuse the shit out of you. and between the gi bleed and the low sodium shud have made her a perfect candidate for the icu. so im hoping shes that level of care. again if not ride their ass. she shud be fluid restriction by mouth and they shud be gently hydrating her with iv n/s of course.
got it? ok let me know.
ive had a tough am myself. i just got home as kate had a fever and i told rob since she been having diarrhea maybe we shud get her checked for a uti. she didnt appear ill but as time went by at the hosp n here.. well she has an upper resp infection. which if it had presented i wouldnt have been so worried it was something i couldnt see.
anyway everyone at work loved her and she was very cooperative and just a doll. she even peed on the potty for her urine sample
9thats right i brought it in and shes peed and we got the sample.
anwya no uti. so were assuming that it sviral. poor kate.
and dr b sent a tex to mr that hes missing me since im not in the back b/c i was out in triage..
i ended calling out sick. kates been vomiting.
i barely slept and i just didnt feel up to going honestly. i called at 4pm, thinking i was before the call time - the charge nurse told me our call time is 3pm for nights. i was never told that and i had been trying to hold out to see if i could go. i feel like ill just call way early. so now i dont know if ill g et paid and i dont know if ill get written up.
im worried about it... but i just feel like steve how may f**king things can i juggle?
im exhausted with a vomiting kid.
I think we need a new question...
My mother had a bleeding peptic ulcer, among other things. She is still in the hospital as some not so bright doctor gave her a laxative, something she does not need. Fortunately that is under control now and she might get to go home soon.
Appreciate the advice, kind of role reversal there. But you are also dealing with a royal mess yourself with Kate The call off issue will probably just result in some sort of warning. You didn't know it was 3pm, and ended up calling an hour later as you thought you might be able to go in...that does sound really good as far as reasoning and I think you might dodge any repercussions with that statement.
Vomiting child? Not good. I understand completely not wanting to go in. That is totally exhausting. Do what you can to take care of yourself. I thought it was great that you had her evaluated at the hospital, where you work. You'll be semi-famous for a while now.Bringing in children usually does that. Steven
hi steve. im opening new quesrion. the last 24hrs have been hell on earth really.