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Ask Coach Jen K. Your Own Question

Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1744
Experience:  Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Life Coach
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Hi...I think Im live now...thanks

Resolved Question:

Hi...I think I'm live now...thanks
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 1 year ago.

CoachJenK :

Hi theresa. Yes you are live. Can you give me 5 minutes? stay in chat and I will be right back


 

Customer:

no problem


 

CoachJenK :

I am here.


 

CoachJenK :

sorry for the delay. tell me how it went.


 

Customer:

no problem


 


At the beginning of my session, my therapist immediately asked me what I came up with re: negotiations...I asked her to listen to what I had to say first then we would discuss it...After my 'reason' or plee for reduced fees, I suggested paying half of her honorary fees and she immediately said it wasn't satisfactory and her little 'funny' side appeared...she said she would only accept $51.00!

Customer:

and that's half + $1.00


 

CoachJenK :

thats so funny! how did it all feel?


 

Customer:

Not at all what I thought it would be...I still suggested 'repaying' her the difference somehow and she said we would discuss that at a later date

CoachJenK :

when you say not what you thought it would be, i am assuming that it felt easier and more comfortable than you imagined?


 

Customer:

right on! although, i was pretty squeamish at the thought and my body language said it all. Felf like I had to justify myself before throwing a number at her

CoachJenK :

I think you did some great work yesterday that gave you a bit more comfort and confidence and although it was tough you got through it and were able to be responded to. hard for you to accept but it is a huge step.


 

CoachJenK :

people give in many ways.


 

CoachJenK :

and dont always need to be repaid


 

Customer:

soooo true! Thanks!


 


If I can change the subject...


I've been in psychotherapy now for 2 years...orignally because of psychological harrassement at work...Worked thru all that successfully and now we're working on a totally different topic.


My question is, is it normal to never have any feedback from my therapist? Meaning, I've told her that I'd like some input as to how she thinks I'm evolving and I don't get much feedback...I think any time I do get some feedback, it helps me to think things through better for our next session but she doesn't really volunteer any information. My sessions are just me talking for 50 minutes...

CoachJenK :

in psychoanalysis that is more of the style.


 

CoachJenK :

In a less psychoanalytic environment


there might be more give and take and feedback

CoachJenK :

almost like what i have done here with you...when i have seen your good work from yesterday I am able to let you know of the work that you did.


 

CoachJenK :

And although this isn't therapy, that is more my style when I am working with individual clients.


 

Customer:

and it's normal?

CoachJenK :

are you able to ask her if she can work a bit with you in a more supportive role and less psychoanalytic/ Yes it is normal for psychoanalysis.


 

CoachJenK :

It is the traditional style of therapy...client talks and emotes and in the release there can be healing with some interpretations along the way.


 

CoachJenK :

the interpretations help to gain some insight into things.


 

Customer:

I have repeated several times and made sure she knew how much I appreciated her feedback but it's not something she does normally I guess

CoachJenK :

it frees the unconscious and the more verbal a therapist is in that role the more likely that things may not come up as easily.


 

Customer:

I guess I want to be a part of my 'insights'

CoachJenK :

yes her approach is more of you verbalizing your thoughts and feelings and less of the feedback.


 

CoachJenK :

I think you are and that is the work that you gain the insight on your own so that you can make changes.


 

CoachJenK :

but her small prodding


or interpretations along the way help you to gain insight.

Customer:

I feeling a bit frustrated with this psychoanalysis and I've told her I need a change...I said I would like to eventually go back 'in the chair'.

CoachJenK :

and is she okay with that at some point?


 

Customer:

yes, actually, she pretty much lets me choose when I arrive and for some strange reason, I guess the security of the couch draws me back right now with this new subject

CoachJenK :

perfect. Then you will know when it is time to advocate for the next step for you with her. You truly are doing great and are able to advocate for what you need and want in your treatment.


 

Customer:

I remember her saying way back (about 2 years ago) that we 'should try something different' and I was motioned to go to the couch and have been there ever since. When I think about it, I might have scared her with this 'transference' ... My subconscious was playing tricks on me and as she was asking all sorts of questions, the topic of my sexual relationship with my husband came up...many sessions later I told her she was in some of my dreams and when I explained what happened in the dream, I probably scared her off a bit!

CoachJenK :

We are not scared by transference. it is part of the process and to be expected and also part of your growth. Healing comes by being connected to her as you feel safe and free to express it all. dreams are normal and she sounds very well qualified and appropriate in her treatment with you.


 

Customer:

I know, I'm not questionning her professionalism...maybe I have grown more than I thought and now I'm expecting more too... I trust her enough to continue with her and that's really all that counts...Thanks again Jen for everything...have a nice weekend!

CoachJenK :

I think you have grown tremendously. I also believe you can allow yourself to feel that and have pride. I am sure she is beaming too.


 

CoachJenK :

Come to me anytime. Please offer another rating...I truly appreciate it.


 

CoachJenK :

Can you offer that rating now for me? As you know my work is not credited otherwise.


 

Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1744
Experience: Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Life Coach
Coach Jen K. and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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