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I think part of the reason I keep giving her more chances is out of guilt. She is almost 100% financially dependant on me. I pay all of the rent, utilities, food etc. She cannot afford to survive without my help. She has a job, but it only pays minimum wage and she only works 30 hours/week. She doesn't even have a car.
That is probably the reason then. If you make her leave, she might make you feel bad about leaving her with "nothing". She has become dependent on you and that is not a good situation. You can still set a time to end the relationship if you want, but tell her that you feel she needs to become more independent in the meanwhile. That kind of dependency is not good for any relationship.
I have set an end date, but then I get texts like this:
"Thanks for giving up. I sure was kidding myself"
"Sorry I didn't get fixed quick enough for you and I am sorry for loving you"
I know I have made mistakes but you have CRUSHED not only my heart but my spirit. Well done"
"And you will go on and never look back!"
"What SUCKS is just when I start to believe in me and us BOOM!"
""Happy 50th to me :("
And these were all rapid fire within a five minute period.
That sounds like she is piling on the guilt. You need to tune that out and decide what is good for you. You are not responsible for her. She has to be responsible for herself and that is not what she is doing. She is trying to make you responsible. If you feel that it is too difficult to end the relationship, try talking with a therapist to help you disengage yourself from the dysfunction of the relationship. It seems like this is not good for either of you.
Okay, thank you. I don't think she is good for me, but somehow I still love her very much. How can I deal with that?
Many people end a relationship still loving the other person. They just realize that the relationship is too broken to continue. It may take some time to feel better once you end things, but you will. It just takes some time to adjust and to grieve the loss. Talk to others and be sure to take care of yourself. Those things do help.
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