Dear Dr. Keane, Use this post please as other one is no longer in chat mode. I am now online. Work's finished for the day. Hope to catch you. Just give it a moment though as internet connection, although good, may take a moment to connect to chat, but I am here though. Do you think that I'll have PMT forever, until menopause? I am sort of okay about taking the Fluoxitine but can't imagine having to take it forever, that doesn't sit very easily, that thought....Do you think I'll have anxious tendencies forever, since I quite possibly already have had them forever to varying degrees (a little scared of asking that question, but ask I must. I'm brave enough to see what the answer is. Wanted to ask for awhile off and on, but now feel I can)....My mum has Myelitis and it isn't going to improve because she's had it for too long for it to now do that and I can see deterioration and now so are other people. I'm sort of okay with it as can't do anything about it except to help her manage it. I am trying to live my life too. I try and not worry about her. If I don't think about it too much then I'm fine about it. I do wish sometimes that it was all diagnosed earlier, that makes me a bit annoyed, after all she saw a lot of different people, some good, some not so good. There's someone good now though, who isn't just dismissing her. It's just hard to diagnose and even harder to treat so it would seem with no cure. I am done with having hope of improvement or complete recovery, just more trying to accept the reality of it all. I try not to think about the future of her health because that really is painful. In some cases sometimes the condition can get to a point where it stays the same. Thought for awhile that would be the case with her as it looked like it, but recently there's been a bit of deterioration. I'm glad she still gets out places a bit. It was a bit of a shock when a few weeks ago occupational health gave her a wheelchair, she doesn't need it often, usually slow walking with crutches is all she needs, it's so that she can go places where the distance to see it all is too far, a little upsetting at the time all the same. I think that it was a bit of a shock initially (getting used to the idea) because we always reckoned she wouldn't need one, the worst thing is that it means a doctor who later wasn't terribly nice as he had a give up attitude and had to be changed was right...Sorry, I just really had to get that off my chest as it were. It's not that no one knows, it's hard to miss, it's just that I know when I tell you things you have a different perspective from others. People often ask me how she is, which is very nice, but the family party line mostly is she's fine, which is sort of true, she is doing fine. I just had this need to talk about it and to say how I've felt about it, even though come to terms with it as much as I can at the moment.....My relatives have arrived so thought I should write out as much as I can, although will try to be here to chat, I have it all set up on sms alert so I will hopefully be able to make it back to my computer, it may take a minute so I can get to it and get into chat. Sorry we have kept missing each other this week too and sorry for the length of the post. once I got writing it just all flowed. I do hope to catch up with you properly and chat to you properly, my relatives and I do have some plans in the upcoming days though, which is why I've written a bit out in full, even though I always feel chatting to you is always good. I wish I could have been here earlier but was at work with no computer access and I can't do anything about that I'm afraid. I'm glad that even though it's sometimes a bit tricky, that you are still willing to talk to me. I hope your week's been going well and I hope that even if it takes a little while, we catch up soon. Friday I am definitely home by 8pm. Possibly be here before but although I've relatives I have to work too. No one to cover as everyone wanted same time off and I clearly didn't get in first. I don't know what plans are tomorrow, Saturday I am out all day, I know that much, and Sunday out until 4pm. That much I do know and it's probably not helpful or useful.
Hi, I'm here for a few minutes.
thank you for getting back to me
glad we finally connected.
so sorry I missed you before
time differences and schedule differences....important point is that we managed to be online at the same time
I won't be on at all tomorrow so this is good, although rather late for you
indeed. Thanks for being so understanding.
I'm fine, we can chat now
I feel quite awake.
Sorry to hear about your mother's diagnosis, I am not very familiar with this disorder although I know it isn't very common and I assume she has some pain.
Today is actually a lot easier. Timings tomorrow would have been even harder.
That's the strange thing, no pain.
We're quite glad about that.
It is such a shame that she didn't get a diagnosis sooner than now, but now that she has it, you have to deal with the present and hope for the best. I'm glad too she isn't having pain. I really don't know much about it except that it is an inflammation, possible auto immune?
I help as much as I can and try and live my life too. I feel less guilty about doing that - doing what I need to do too. I know my mum never liked it when I didn't because she wants me to be able to go and do things too. I hope that doesn't come across as being selfish
Yes, that's about right. We now think she had it many years before with her hands, but no one came up with any diagnosis and that eventually got better by itself. This time it's very different.
As for you and your concerns, first off you are not selfish and your mum is right, you do need to keep the focus on yourself and your life. As for your concerns about being on medication, if it is working right now try and not worry about whether you'll need it for a long time.
Easier said than done I know but we have talked about "worry" and how it takes good energy from a person.
Remember we spoke about a "mantra"? Have a saying ready for times when you start to worry too much.....
I would hope you still are doing that when necessary.....that self talk is helpful, as is some other forms of relaxation, like meditation, yoga....just taking some deep breaths...but you know all that already.
I do try really hard not to worry and I do feel it's not as bad as what it once was. I still keep working to not to beat myself up either. Do that less than what I used to.
Yes I remember we spoke about mantra.
I am still doing that and the self-talk when it becomes a neccessity.
It does fix out some of my thoughts and stops them becoming too silly and spiralling.
I still do deep breathing too; quite a bit of that recently. It's been a very busy week and next week's busier still.
So you are doing well in that area, making progress. Remember too that you can take steps forward and then may fall back but as long as you stepping forward more than stepping back, that's progress! Anxiety, that's a question I cannot answer but if as you become more secure and able to handle stress (and PMT) it can lessen those anxious feelings. Whether it will for you is yet to be determined, no crystal ball here (joke)
lol, ok get your joke
Wish I had one!
thought you were thinking that. (no crystal ball here either)
Your welcome regarding the DA info by the way.
You sound busy, is it work related?
and partly because a whole lot of things that's normally a bit spread out that I like to be involved in have suddenly been rescheduled for all at once
DA, we'll see in January.....there is a lot of "talk" about it but I try not to read anything. I like the element of surprise and don't want it ruined by knowing what happens!
AS for your schedule, just take one thing at a time and if it fits into your schedule great, if it's your volunteer work/interests and you want to be this busy then go for it, otherwise, say "no"
oh I've no intention in telling you what happens. I don't like when people totally spoil a plot either. I didn't read what was in all our papers about it either
I've already said no for one thing
I have someone in my waiting room, wasn't watching the clock. I have to run....sorry I though it was earlier!!!
I can't really for my kids group, not this week as what we're doing needs me to be there since I'm in charge. That's what I was doing on Wed when you were online. I was half-way through.
okay. Well, thank you for taking time to chat with me.
I'll check back later tonight so write what you want and I'll respond later....
You said about I may fall back. I think I did that recently, off and on over about 2 days (I stress off and on as it wasn't continuous) I had to use just about everything you taught me because I felt so tense, no reason why. Not that I can remember anyway. I did manage to sort it and relax again though.....I think your right, I need to take one thing at a time. By Thurs it'll be quieter again and all should be a one off.
I mean in terms of everything falling on the same week.
work has been busy but it's no busier than usual, just work at various times, almost always the same times, just not in 1 big block of time, as you would have gathered anyway. I should probably be concentrating on enjoying the weekend with my relatives and what we have planned. It ought to be fun......One thing that was playing on my mind a little was those 2 family friends (the one's who said they won't probe but can tell something happened in my life) I had been thinking about whether to just see how things play out to how much I open up to them. Possibly that may have caused a little of the stress earlier in the week, not sure. I don't know what's got into me lately, there are times when I know I should be doing some things, not quite as a matter of urgency, but near enough, but feel ridiculously relaxed about it that it lies until the last minute almost until I've done something else. Then obviously I have to rush about the place and get a bit panicky. I'm still committed to all that I do, paid and unpaid. I'm not entirely sure how to explain it. I mean, I've not suddenly lost motivation or anything like that and things still get done. Perhaps I need to just sort out my routine again, now that (apart from this coming week) things are getting back to normal. In someways I just feel less organised than usual. I sometimes wonder if it's because I'm trying to have more quality "me time" to try to not be in the state I was when I chatted to you that very first time. I still find myself thinking about that day sometimes.
I do feel although I know I step back at times, there may be more stepping forwards. I'd like to know what you think? What other areas do you feel I need to work on? This has all ended up being so much longer than what I thought it would. I hope you don't mind. It's just I'm aware of how little computer time when it's your day time, that I have next week. I hope that you have a good weekend with whatever you have planned. I look forward to your response and talk to you again some day soon. Right, it really is getting very late now, so must get some sleep. Take care!
oh and thank you for your sympathies regarding my mother, and thank you for "listening" to all of that. I appreciate it, and all the rest you said too regarding me.
I presume you got busy....Well I look forward to your response when it comes.
I do want you to know that I really do, do everything you taught me and that it does work. I even listen to the CD at times still too. I do try and not let the good energy be zapped. I think I'm, except for a few off days, am getting better at that. I am so glad that we did manage to connect for a bit of a chat. Thank you for continuing to help me and support me. I feel it really does help a lot. I hope you do make it back to JA and get time to respond.
Hope you get this at somepoint. I know it's such a big post, but I'll make sure I compensate you for it. I am sorry for possibly coming across as being anxious. A few things hadn't gone to plan at the beginning of the week especially. All just about sorted now though, but had brought back some bad memories of people letting me down, but managed to calm it with everything you taught me. So, it does work as does chatting to you. Hope you have a good weekend.
Hi, thanks for getting back to me and for your thoughts and comments. The anxiety has now relaxed and I use a mantra as we have previously talked about. I hope you are having a good week.