Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like you might be depressed. The symptoms you describe- loss of appetite, loss of enjoyment in your life (except for your children) and feeling suicidal are all common depression symptoms.
Depression can also include feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness, lack of energy or motivation and trouble concentrating. It is common to feel there is no hope and no way out.
If you have not tried therapy, you might want to at this point. Therapy is often one of the best ways to feel better. Medications are helpful to deal with the symptoms of depression but they do not get rid of them permanently. Therapy can do that for you. To have a better chance at finding a good therapist, ask your doctor for a referral. Or you can search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/
Medications are helpful to ease the symptoms but the vary in their effectiveness. Each person has their own body chemistry and what works for one may not work for another. Also, once you take medication for a while, your body becomes accustomed to it and you either need an increase in dosage or you need to try a new medication. Talk with your doctor about what medication might work for you. You can take it to alleviate the symptoms and until therapy begins to help.
Motivation is a very difficult symptom of depression. It often keeps people from helping themselves and reaching out to others. But support and self help are vital in helping you overcome depression. Consider support groups, either on line or in person. People who are experiencing the same symptoms as you are can offer invaluable support, ideas and companionship to help you feel better. Also, working on your depression at home can supplement your therapy or other treatment. Here are resources to help you get started:http://psychcentral.com/resources/Depression/Support_Groups/ http://depression.supportgroups.com/ http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm
Once you are able to reach out, you will start to feel better. Let others support you and offer help. You need it right now. And you do not have to do this alone.
I hope this has helped you,