my wife has episodes of rage or underlying aggression. the last episode happened 2 days ago in front of my family where she requested that i do all the cleaning up after sunday dinner. when i said lets do it together she began to help then inside 2 minutes flipped and screamed at me to get out of the kitchen, which i did
after telling her i couldnt believe her behavior (30 mins earlier she was telling me how much she loved me.)
in 20 mins she came to me, frothing at the mouth, screaming and threw a glass at me in front of the family telling me how could i sit there when she was doing all the work. she got more in a rage, crying and screaming hysterically to her mother on the phone for 20mins. also had trouble getting her breath. i went back to the kitchen to finish up, then she came back in, wrenching a pan out of my hand, deliberately twisting my finger around. then she came out throwing clothes and blankets everywhere, and began throwing some of my clothes off the balcony. at this point i told my parents we were leaving and we calmly left. she slammed and locked the door shut screaming about divorce.
this is not the first time this happened. the last episode was in april. there were several such episodes before then, including our wedding night, that involved name-calling and physical aggression. i learnt after some time to leave the house when things got bad because going to another room didnt work. i experience genuine fear during the episodes, both for my well-being and the destruction this brings to our relationship. her mother has asked if i'm scared of her. things had got better of late and the name-calling pretty much stopped.
she also tends to use blaming alot and rarely apologises for her actions. now we are supposed to move abroad together for my job but after this last epidode i dont know if i want her to come.
sometimes she can be incredibly sweet and nice and loving. she is quite thin and also has some esteem problems, but these are sporadic. she's pretty unsocial and spends alot of time at home, though can speak with her friends often on the phone.
what do you think the problem is?