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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5467
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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hi i had baby no 4 last december and recently i feel like im

Resolved Question:

hi i had baby no 4 last december and recently i feel like im not able to cope with all the kids. I get very angry towards them and feel sorry after. I love them to bits but am exhausted. My husband works long long hours and is unable to help due to the nature of his job. I have gained almost 4 stone and cant suceed in losing the weight cos i get so fed up. we havent had a day off in almost 18 months and im really fed up with it all.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.

Hello, I'd like to help you.

Before I can respond, can you clarify your question? Are you asking what to do about how you feel or what to do about the weight loss? Or both?

Thank you,
Kate

Customer: replied 1 year ago.


both. just find it so hard to have the energy for everything.

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for the additional information.

It can be very difficult to cope after having a child, let alone with three more to care for all on your own. You mentioned receiving little to no help from your husband who works long hours. That makes your job even harder.

One of the first things you might want to try is talking with your doctor about getting screened for post partum depression. Though it does not sound like you have it, it would not hurt to just be sure.

If you do not have post partum depression, then getting help is the first priority. You are overwhelmed with the work that needs done just taking care of the kids, let alone the house and all the other things that come with being home. Are there any family or even friends that might lend a hand? Just to provide you with a break to look forward to. Being at home every day doing the same things without reward can easily bring you down. And without help, you are going to keep feeling the way you do.

If your husband is at home at all during the week, take advantage of it. Sleep and relax. Or let him care for the kids while you get caught up on other things.

If you can hire a babysitter, even for a few hours, you can get out of the house and do something nice for yourself. That can make a lot of difference in how you feel.

If you can, try walking outside or go to a park. It can be very hard trying to keep track of the kids, but if you can go to a park and let them run around, they can get tired out and you might get a break. You will also get in some exercise to help your weight.

Having the energy to chase after kids and take care of them all day has to come from somewhere. Since mothers often move around all day with little time to sit, they often eat to compensate. When you are tired and short on sleep, your body tries to fuel itself by making you eat, particularly foods like carbs and sweets to give you quick energy. And since you have no time to exercise, you gain weight. I want to encourage you that this is normal. It feels awful, but you will be able to lose the weight. Make it a priority to rest as much as you can. That will make you feel less tired and help you eat less. Then when you shop, try getting easy convenient foods that you can just grab and eat quickly. Even if it costs a bit more, it is worth it now not only to help you lose weight, but to treat you with something nice during your day.

And keep in mind, this will not last forever. As a mother with three kids, I understand what you feel. It can seem like you will never feel any better than you do now. But it does get better. The kids learn to do more on their own and you will get more time. And you will have time to get the weight off. Hang in there.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5467
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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