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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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I was having an affair for 5 years. He was controlling abuser, always perswuading me he wa

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I was having an affair for 5 years. He was controlling abuser, always perswuading me he was acting in my interests but can't leave wife for the sake of his grown up kids. I know he wasn't honest with me but all the time I was trying to end it...some how he managed to get me be involved again. I believed him he needs more time but now I see he was controlling me for his hidden reason. I am trying to break free but deep inside I know I am not free from him. I don't want to see him as a lover but he keeps texting me to make sure I remember him.
Any help? Please.
You may find that it is easier to let go if you explore the benefit even if negative of this relationship. Relationships serve a purpose even when the partner is abusive. That is why you may benefit from Codependent No More and there is an additional book following the original. You may also benefit from a therapist to examine and explore why you maintained this relationship. Education and therapy could play a huge part in not forming a relationship with anyone abusive again. I would go to great lengths to block his texts so that he doesn't think you are entertaining any idea of a relationship or friendship with him. This sends a message that you don't want to communicate with him.
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