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Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.
I dont believe there is ever a good reason for any type of abuse whether you are together or not. It is clear that you have needed this time on your own to sort some things out and that feels like a healthy choice.
how does that behavior of his lend itself to getting you back? It seems as if it would push you away further.
tell me your thoughts
He is 'punishing' me for leaving him but I left him because I was so unhappy with him, given the fact that I married him only because I got pregnant and it was the 'right' thing to do. He now says that I have to face the consequences of 15yrs (until our son is 18) of hell as a result of my decision. This makes me feel guilty to the point that I'm putting up with any abuse or threat he now throws at me. I don't have much experience with men as he was the only one I have ever been with, so I don't know if this is acceptable behavior and whether or not this is a normal reaction of all men???
This is not acceptable behavior and not the reaction at all of all men. Clearly he doesnt want you to leave but there are other ways to express that rather than abuse. What kind of support do you have to be where you need to be and that sounds like away from him.
Please reply...and I will not bother you anymore ;)
did you see my response above? you are not a bother at all.
let me know you can see my response....please scroll up
sometimes there are issues in the chat and if I dont hear from you I will switch to the Q and A mode as that sometimes works better.
Are you with me?
I will switch to a different mode now and hopefully that corrects the problem.
I'm sorry but this is the first time I turn to the desperate measure of chatting to someone online about my issue..so I somehow lost you. That's what I thought but he didn't even give me 3months off without smothering me, and because I suddenly avoided any form of contact with him for 2 months, he surprised me with court papers and now says that I asked for it as I left him no choice due to my silence. Now that I am ready & strong enough to talk to him for 6 months now, he only wants to communicate through his solicitor and says that he gave me the chance to talk back then but now its too late...that I lost my chance...he even put a DVO against me falsely alleging that I assaulted him. And now, he has even pressed charges! Is this a form of punishment? How much time is enough time that he should have left me alone to recover? To think?? Was I asking too much for 6months to one year off to recover my self-esteem??