I am starting by the bottom of your message, and progressing to the top.
I am glad to know that my conclusion about SAPOLSKY teaching, that level of attraction depends of the number of common genes, does not contradict your knowledge.
About the teaching of the veterant psychologist ( aged 73), i keep on learning a lot without any wrong thing heard untill now.
But 2 things make me wonder...
The 1st is that some cores of the system rely on god, with prayer like the serenity one: "give me the serenity to accept what i can't change, the strenght to change what can be changed, and the awareness to know the difference"
this does not frighten me, as long as he doesn't tell me that we can not reach god without knowing Jesus Christ, which will lead to the Vatican.
If he uses god for naming an above organizing strength, that is ok!
The 2nd is that the main core is the inner family system therapy (created by R SCHWARTZ based on subselves, children, manager, magician, etc.. and the above true-self. But, when he says that subselves have scientific reality, and correspond to different area of the brain, i start to doubt seriously... So, as an american, you surely have heard about this new technic.
Tell me what is your opinion on IFST, and if you know if there are some links with some religions or churches ?
With my (possible futur) girlfriend, we have a lot of common genes (lol)... but i am also the only one who has the keys for her happyness, because she is a psychological copy of my mother. Every ingredients is present, a family destroyed when she was 6, total lack of confidence with men, necessity to have total control on her life, so men must show sign of submition, etc...etc... at the same time she needs to replay the missed relation with her father, and as i could be her father ( 20 years of age difference between me & her ), i fit her needs.
Do you think that it could be possible to build a healthy relation ?
My standard are far more loose, than what you imagine. But, i discovered recently that thinking rationally is a protection against mental illness.
So i can not accept any wrong thinking, during the construction of our relationship. She has a lot to clear, and i will do by best to help her, but if she doesn't work with cohérence and logic, the task will be impossible...
i could admit any kind of standard deviation, but i can not tolerate someone who think in an unrational way. (i start repeating my self...)
So, the monster is in the cage, and next time i'll speak with her, i shall ask her : " what do we do with the monster ? " if she answer " well, just leave it in the cage, for now" i will be very glad, but if she denies the existence of it... i would not go further in the relation.
What do you think of my attitude ?
Finaly, does the explanation of the breaking handle causing the accident with Andrew, sounds realistic to you?
Extra for fun : Let me share with you what Peter K Gerlack recommand to say to some one who is shouting at you :
" well, listen now... i really need that you lower your voice ! "
LOL ! i shall try... but i feel like it is going to trig a nuclear explosion !!!!!