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Ask Coach Jen K. Your Own Question

Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1744
Experience:  Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Life Coach
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Lost job, ignored and excluded by particular family members

Customer Question

Lost job, ignored and excluded by particular family members for a long time, even after I got a new job, decided to just say hello and not try and interact with them any more, then they stopped playing games but now I still wake up mad nearly every day and any time I am with them and they laugh it reminds me of the bullying and makes me mad...

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 1 year ago.

CoachJenK :

Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

CoachJenK :

What is the reasoning behind them ignoring you?


 

CoachJenK :

I think you have every right to take some time to yourself to work out the feelings around this.


 

CoachJenK :

Another option is to try and sit down and talk with them about it to gain an understanding of their behavior so you can process the anger around it.


 

CoachJenK :

hi


 

Customer:

Hi, I think they were treating other people in the family in a similar fashion but for some reason I am having trouble letting it go... I'm, not sure of the reason, seems like they just want to dominate other family members or something... Not sure if sitting down with them will help... Pretty sure they know what they are doing and if they knew it bothered me then that might just start it again...


 

Customer:

I see what you mean though, it might help me let go if I get it out on the open...


 

CoachJenK :

I understand then sitting down might not be the option. So how can we get you to move past it and let it go so that it doesnt continue to affect you...that is our goal...YOU. the more you hang onto it the more it hurts you


 

CoachJenK :

we see both of our views. lol


 

CoachJenK :

so even though they are no longer hurting you, it continues to hurt as you allow it to occupy your mind.


 

CoachJenK :

so we need to free the mind from it so you can feel okay each day. the goal is you and not them.


 

CoachJenK :

especially if this is their style with other family as well.


 

CoachJenK :

easier not to personalize it and move on from it and know you wouldnt treat others in this way


 

Customer:

I guess I am mostly mad at myself for not being able to avoid being made fun of... and then I get mad at being mad which keeps this going on and on, hehe


 

CoachJenK :

yes i get it...but dont take responsibility for other peoples poor behavior


 

CoachJenK :

and it brings up painful memories and that is why it is hard to move past it.


 

Customer:

wow, that makes sense


 

CoachJenK :

the nager is also from the old wounds and not being able to stop the bullying


 

CoachJenK :

but again do not take responsibility for other peoples poor behavior


 

CoachJenK :

*anger sorry typo


 

Customer:

I get a bit of a complex because I don't want to be bullied but I don't want to bully either, it seems like doing the same thing to them will stop them or make them like me because they think i'm weak otherwise but I hate the thought of being like that...


 

Customer:

that's probably the key for me, not to take responsibility for their behavior =)


 

CoachJenK :

you keep being true to who you are and the loving person you are...that will never steer you wrong


 

CoachJenK :

exactly!


 

Customer:

I guess it will be ok, as long as it doesn't get physical.


 

CoachJenK :

none of it is okay


 

Customer:

ok, i think i will be happier now, as long as i don't take responsibility for their behavior I should be able to move on, just sad that I can't get along with everyone in the family, you take it for granted that family members will like you but it's not the case sometimes =


 

CoachJenK :

you have a great head on your shoulders and I like where you have arrived. Great work. you can come to me anytime you need support. Just ask for CoachJenK


 

CoachJenK :

please take a moment to click on the rating tab...my goal has been to give you EXCELLENT support


 

Customer:

Your the best, XXXXX XXXXX much for the chat, it's great to be able to work through my feelings with someone, even if you are miles away in cyber space. Have a great day. Excellent rating for you ;)


 

Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1744
Experience: Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Life Coach
Coach Jen K. and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 1 year ago.
Checking in on you to see how you are doing. Keep your loving and open heart. I am here if you need me at anytime.

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