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Ask Coach Jen K. Your Own Question

Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1744
Experience:  Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Life Coach
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Im tired of husband talking about our lack of sex (in his

Resolved Question:

I'm tired of husband talking about our lack of sex (in his mind) to our friends
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 1 year ago.

CoachJenK :

Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

CoachJenK :

I imagine how hard this is for you. I am sure you stay silent about it as it is so very uncomfortable for you.


 

CoachJenK :

i would suggest that in a quiet moment you sit with him and let him know how this makes you feel and ask why he does it


 

CoachJenK :

tell me your thoughts


 

JACUSTOMER-16wegqvg- :

Yes, it is uncomfortable. He does it constantly. I should bring it up. I am just fearful that it will lead to some confrontation about how I need to initiate, how we need to have sex more often, and then it would lead to how I just like to complain and be unhappy all the time.


 

CoachJenK :

It seems the issues run deep here. you feel content about your intimacy? It is not uncommon for men and women to be in different places around this but that does not mean that is is respectful to discuss it with others. i would also imagine that others are uncomfortable when he does this.


 

JACUSTOMER-16wegqvg- :

My libido has been lacking since my full hysterectomy. I have tried antidepressants prescribed by the doctor. I guess though the underlying issues is I need the emotional connection (I know, a lot of women have this problem). I've told him about my lack of libido and he just says, well, when you want sex just let me know. He blames my upbringing as a good catholic girl as part of my problem. We do have sex once or twice a week though.

CoachJenK :

I am sad to hear is lack of empathy around this. sex once or twice per week sounds pretty good....clearly I am speaking from a woman's perspective and most men might feel otherwise.


 

CoachJenK :

I think it sounds important for you to be able to speak your mind about how you feel about his behavior around this and know that it could lead to further discussions but sitting silent seems to be weighing on your emotional life and connection to him.


 

JACUSTOMER-16wegqvg- :

Yep, guess I just need to bring it up and see what happens.

CoachJenK :

because it becomes less about the sex and more about his respect for you and you being able to advocate for your needs around this.


 

JACUSTOMER-16wegqvg- :

OK, thanks.

CoachJenK :

Please take a moment to click on the rating tab. My goal is EXCELLENT support.


 

CoachJenK :

come to me anytime you need the support.


 

JACUSTOMER-16wegqvg- :

Will do

CoachJenK :

thank you so much. take care of you


 

CoachJenK :

request CoachJenK if you need me again. it is my pleasure.


 

Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1744
Experience: Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Life Coach
Coach Jen K. and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 1 year ago.
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