How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask psychlady Your Own Question

psychlady
psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6884
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
psychlady is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I need help in dealing with a partners who has severe mood

Resolved Question:

I need help in dealing with a partners who has severe mood swings. I need to know how to deal with this before I walk away, because I love her and so dont want to go
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  psychlady replied 1 year ago.

If you don't want to walk away then put this problem in the hands of professional. This will give her the tools she needs to deal with her issue. The first step is actually diagnosing her with the disorder that eventually she will accept. It may be difficult to accept at first. That is why you must be strong in your opinion of what should happen. You may choose before you talk to her to get information that explains different mood disorders including bipolar and depression. She may want to understand first what she thinks is effecting her. After she has accessed treatment work as a couple on what worsens these moods and design ways to avoid those situations. Sometimes people can avoid situations while others find that nothing in particular effects their mood. If after everything you need to walk away that is understandable. However regular therapy and possibly medication has changed people's lives drastically. You can find a therapist on the site for the American Psychological Association.

Please press positive feedback or I am not compensated

Customer: replied 1 year ago.


There have been times when she has asked me for s but when when she is having a go at me she changes her mind. Its always my falt, she accuses me of being rude and talks to me like I am nothing to her. I really do not know what to do for the best

Expert:  psychlady replied 1 year ago.
You have to decide what is best for you. You don't have an obligation to be with anyone just because they have issues. What makes the difference for you is whether she is prepared to deal with them. If she isn't then this will be a very troubled relationship. There should be no excuses - she is or she isn't into finding a solution
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
,So how do I get her to talk without antagonising the situation. I have tried ignoring it, fighting it head on but nothing seems to work.
Expert:  psychlady replied 1 year ago.
Don't fight it. Instead offer her information and start discussion with "I am just concerned for you and want you to be better" Confront this but in a kind way where you are support rather than antagonist
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Okay I can try that but why is everything my fault??. I do nothing but be there for her and forgive her everytime this happens. But I am the one who is left feeling bad and she acts like she really doesnt give a damn.

Expert:  psychlady replied 1 year ago.
It isn't your fault. She is in early stage of acceptance and is deflecting blame onto you. Don't feed into it. She is acting badly because you are accepting this blame. Give her responsibility back by telling her so
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


How do I do that??? the example I will give is this. I have her an opinion this evening on one of her friends joining us for a night out, this friend is not my favourite and she knows it, however I do make time for her even though I sometimes can be a little off with her. I am then accused of being rude, she will never do anything with me again etc....I ask her not to do this but she just goes into this and is now half talking to me. its me making the effort to put things back on the right track

Expert:  psychlady replied 1 year ago.
You have to show her that you won't follow unrealistic expectations. Tell her that you won't go. Not because she says so but because the time wasn't enjoyable. This shows her that you have certain expectations and you won't be there because there was not any respect for your going out of your way. If this is an immediate discussion then she doesn't have the chance to give you the silent treatment
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX only this one friend that causes an arguement between us. Is the mood swings reflective of the fact that she very rarly tells me she loves me ( even though I know she does ) and that intimate relations have recently been very few and far between??

Expert:  psychlady replied 1 year ago.
It could be the mood. When we are irritable or feeling depressed compliments can be hard to come by. This is also true of sex. Sex is an emotional experience and this can greatly be interrupted by sporadic mood changes.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX helped me put a few things into persective. I am the only person who has made her take a look at herself and have pushed her to talk about her passed that I know is affecting her. I dont feel obliged to stay I love her and want to be here for her even if things do get worse before then get better. I will leave positive feeback for you. Many thanks, XXXXX XXXXX I can remain strong.

Expert:  psychlady replied 1 year ago.
You can do it. Best wishes
psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6884
Experience: Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
psychlady and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 

Related Mental Health Questions