It sounds like he has a pattern of infidelity that may persist past when this relationship ends. Usually men who use women and disrespect them have long standing issues and this will continue. That is why leaving for your own sanity and well being may be the only solution. Many times we recommend marriage counseling but his behaivor says that he does not want a healthy relationship between two people. It is most probable that he will move on and treat the next woman exactly the same. His thought process says that women are to be treated in this way irregardless of how much he hurts them. If you want to protect your heart then find a man who respects women and the act of sexual intercourse. It is admirable that you want the best for him but he will get what he wants out of life. This relationship is less than friendship but more emotionally abusive. Focus on yourself and how to move on in a way that is healthy. He will function as he wants to function and any negativity he will cause himself.
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Thank you. Another problem is that he blamed his cheating on me being "emotionally absent". In fact I was, but it was because I had suspicions and pulled away from him; or distanced myself to not remain hurt. When I am happy, he is negative, controlling, and snide. When I am not happy, he will try to hug and console me or compliment me. This is making me very confused. I want to procede with this divorce. I had confronted his ex mistresses before, and he ended up destroying our home over it. Even though this mistress may have carried his child; I don't feel like I owe it to her any amount of effort on my part..as it was her that believed his lies too, just like me; and just like me, she will have to learn the hard way. Do you think it's best I do leave as soon as I can? I am planning on moving tomarrow. I have all my things packed. I just wanted one last word of advice before I start this new journey on my own. He maintains his innocence, and tells me he only did these things b/c of how I treated him. But-I find this not true, and if he cared he would seek help or be more open with me.