You have identified the right process and that is the grieving process. In her grief, she may be denying herself the very support that she needs. People with such grief especially for a child often lack the ability for awhile to accept help or support from others almost as if they are not worthy. Unfortunately the grieving person has to be open to this support. Until then it may fall on deaf ears. Often the person realizes that they are worthy of support and even therapy. Sometimes this process even happens independently of the comfort of others. When someone loses a child they believe that this is the worst grief imaginable and that no other person's grief compares to their own. She may realize on her own that she needs the comfort of a relationship and that you have her best interest at heart but she has to believe that before she will be open to your help. Don't give up. She may call at any time.
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i guess that is the question i have a son and I am not sure do i wait for days or weeks or months or set a limit ?