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I totally understand where you're coming from. Each time i phone i never think 'she'll be different this time', i have no expectations. Ive learned not to have those from years of this emotional torture. My interaction is upbeat, firstly asking how she is etc and usually followed by an invitation of sorts to see her. I am proud of my ability to not waver on the abrupt one word answers that follow and when i put the phone down (phone calls average 5mins) its like a 20 minute battle of wills in my mind to do the advice you've already described. Usually it dissolves and i think i will go back to the therapist if this feeling persists. No she has'nt been diagnosed, ive been researching over the last few months as her behaviour has become more erratic, the symptoms of NPD and the knowledge of her relationship with her own mother is the result of my suspicions.So, at present this is how i feel...ive not gone in to work today because my anxiety just totally took over and i panicked and thought i cant go in. im letting my husband down because i cant muster up the strength to do the most menial of tasks (he is very supportive). Im useless, i just want to hide away and not speak to anyone. Ive got my head in the t.v to escape. Any other useful suggestions?