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Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.
What you are feeling is normal.
you say it perfectly...you are happy she is free from hiding but at the same time you need to grieve and ourn what you idea and hopes were for her.
this can be painful
but I do believe as you mourn it all you will be able to support her and love her and realize that nothing has changed about who she is as a person
here is a wonderful article for you to look at. http://www.pflagcanada.ca/pdfs/glb-mychild.pdf
We were planning a trip to mackinac island, michigan for my grown children -since they never went as children. my daughter lives in San Diego and decided she would write her dad and I and her brother a letter to let us know the week before she is to arrive. In her letter she said she has been struggling for 20 years, and has been to therapy and finally has decided to come out. While i was abit taken back, I feel i have 4 days to work through this until she is home., unfortunately all my "fun" ideas for the week she is here just went in zombie zone and I have no motivatition.
I completely understand and I am glad you are here with me so we can talk about it and move you from Zombie zone back to loving mother. tell me about the grief.
about what was supposed to be for her?
I think if you allow yourself to feel what you feel about it, this feeling can lift for you as you are the first to say how happy you are that she is free from hiding and her struggle.
Are you here with me?
Sometimes there can be some technical issues in chat. I hope you are not experiencing any, but I am here so no worries.
If I dont hear back i will switch out of chat and we can continue in Q and A mode. It has less technical issues.