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Ask Coach Jen K. Your Own Question

Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1759
Experience:  Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Life Coach
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Any tips on raising self esteem of an introvert married to extrovert?

Resolved Question:

Any tips on raising self esteem of an introvert married to extrovert?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.

CoachJenK :

Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

CoachJenK :

It sounds like you are working hard on yourself and it can feel daunting. Often being around an extrovert can make one go into their shell more. do you believe this is true for you?


 

CoachJenK :

I am also wondering if you feel like you might be despressed as well and the low self esteem is part of the depression?


 

CoachJenK :

*depressed


 

CoachJenK :

I will wait for you to come online so we can talk about it and find some solutions. I look forward to talking with you.


 

Customer:

In fact I am depressed. I am on week 4 of zoloft at 50mg/day

Customer:

I definitely go into my shell more


 

Customer:

My husband is from Guatemala and although his family all speak english, they insist I speak spanish when I am around them (which is only about once per yr). I've spent the past month recovering from our last visit there for 3 weeks, lots of parties (his 40th).


 

CoachJenK :

hi


 

CoachJenK :

It sounds as if the styles between the two of you are quite different and you are having a difficult time with it. I am glad to hear you are on some medication. Are you also in therapy?


 

Customer:

no


 

Customer:

I don't go anywhere I don't have to go...lol


 

CoachJenK :

your primary care doctor is prescribing the medication?


 

Customer:

yes


 

CoachJenK :

I hear you but it sounds to me like this is somewhere you need to go.


 

CoachJenK :

a space all your own

CoachJenK :

I can hear that you like to do some self study so I will recommend something for that as well.


 

Customer:

Thank you.


 

CoachJenK :

it could be so beneficial to understand the roots of the depression and low self esteem and also to have a place to talk freely about anything you need to


 

CoachJenK :

you can listen every night and it is very relaxing and quite helpful

CoachJenK :

There is a wonderful guy Steve G Jones who does some relaxation and self hypnosis. his downloads are incredible. You can hear his voice before you buy anything from him. He has one on self esteem.

Customer:

I have considered going to see a professional but I didn't want to spend the money. I suppose I should since my health is important.


 

Customer:

thank you


 

CoachJenK :

yes I am glad you are thinking that way....your health and you are important.

CoachJenK :

certainly I would like you to be in therapy as well as I think you deserve to have a place all your own to work through it all

CoachJenK :

none of us think when we want to buy a new sweater but we sometimes think too hard about spending the money for therapy when that can be better than any new sweater...for a silly analogy

Customer:

I see your point. I've never been to therapy and for some reason it seems embarrassing to me to tell someone about these issues.


 

Customer:

or maybe uncomfortable is a better word


 

CoachJenK :

It can take some time to feel comfortable but you are worth it and truly have nothing to be uncomfortable about

CoachJenK :

I understand that worry and even though you are online with me and we are not face to face you have been able to do it quite well.


 

Customer:

I think you are right but I'm bad about procrastinating when I'm uncomfortable with things. Does therapy really help?


 

CoachJenK :

its a new experience but one that if you allow yourself to be open and to connect could be a very powerful life changer for you

CoachJenK :

I believe when you feel ready you wont procrastinate...as I believe that happens because you have worry

CoachJenK :

all of what you are experiencing is normal. It will all be okay.

CoachJenK :

It absolutely can and does....I wouldnt be in the profession if I didnt believe it was helpful


 

Customer:

What do you mean by a space all your own?


 

CoachJenK :

I can also help locate a name or two for you and you can research them and if you feel ready you can move forward with it

Customer:

That would be a great first step for me to get a name


 

CoachJenK :

when you are with your in laws it is about them...such as having to speak spanish...just as an example....so therapy is your time just for you and what you want and need

CoachJenK :

meaning that when you are in therapy that is your time to focus on you and your needs and that can be such a wonderful experience

CoachJenK :

ok so lets start there. what is your zip code

Customer:

70816


 

CoachJenK :

ok give me one moment as i look. I am still in the chat with you. do you think you would feel more comfortable with a man or a woman

Customer:

probably a woman


 

CoachJenK :

ok.

CoachJenK :

so you now have two names and you can look at the links i gave and see how it feels and maybe even place a call to them when you are ready.

Customer:

Thank you. Any thoughts of how I could present this idea to my husband? He's not big on therapy. He doesn't fully understand the differences b/n our personalities and doesn't understand why I feel overwhelmed. He has an incorrect stereotypical view of therapy.


 

CoachJenK :

I think your cultures are different which presents an issue for you. I might just say to him that although he may not understand it all, you are feeling depressed and have some things you would like to work on and believe therapy can help you. He doesnt need to agree with it, but you are asking him to support you in your desire to go.

CoachJenK :

and also while you are figuring this all out you have the Cd I mentioned above, but again i think that is just for the time being but believe therapy is the way to go here.

Customer:

I'll take that approach and see how it goes. If he's not supportive, would it be unproductive for me to go anyway and just not tell him where I'm going?


 

CoachJenK :

Therapy is all your own as I said so do all that you can to get there.


 

CoachJenK :

Part of the depression is this sense of isolation so advocating and following through on what you need is crucial!

CoachJenK :

you deserve that gift for yourself

CoachJenK :

but you need to handle the hows with him or however you see fit in your relationship.

CoachJenK :

my goal is to present my best suggestions and opinions for YOUR care

CoachJenK :

Even if he isn't supportive does that mean you can't go?

Customer:

That makes sense. I'll listen to the cd's until I get up the courage to actually take that step, but I imagine it will be soon. If he's not supportive, it means there will be tension. I can only work on myself and usually if he disagrees with me, I find a way to do what I feel is best anyway. However, sometimes I give in to him just to make peace. I don't see me doing that in this situation though. I would rather have long term peace than just appease him for a day. When I make that first step, I think I'll be very committed to follow through.


 

CoachJenK :

Love all that you just wrote right there...that is the strength that I know is inside of you. Follow that. You can also come to me anytime you need to....I am here...all you have to do is request CoachJenK at the beginning of your question and it will come to me.


 

CoachJenK :

when you feel a bit shaky re read all that above. after you complete a rating of my work when we are done you will get a copy of our conversation so you dont need to remember any of it


 

Customer:

Thank you so much for your time and expertise. I really appreciate it and I believe you are right, that it's crucial for me to give therapy a try.


 

CoachJenK :

proud of you!

CoachJenK :

please take a moment to click on the rating tab. My goal has been to give you EXCELLENT support.

Customer:

Thank you very much. I look forward to positive results.


 

Customer:

I will give you an excellent rating. Have a nice evening and thanks again.


 

CoachJenK :

I am here anytime you need and i am rooting for you!

CoachJenK :

thank you as well.

CoachJenK :

my pleasure. Talk soon.

Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1759
Experience: Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Life Coach
Coach Jen K. and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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