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Ask Rafael M.T.Therapist Your Own Question
Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3191
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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How to handle my husband who has affair with 3 woman at the

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How to handle my husband who has affair with 3 woman at the same within a week & act as if nothing happen please help .. Appreciate it.

Thank u
Amy

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confident


ial but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know a out this overwhelmingly painful and shocking situation.


 

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Once you found out about these affairs you confronted him and he just totally disregarded your feelings, taking it as totally fine?


 

Customer: Hi Rafeal
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hi, thank you for replying.


 

Customer: I hv not confronted him yet cos i hv to be prepare for the best question to tackle him
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see. How did you fi


nd out about it and how are you feeling?

Customer: This is not his first time I pray to my lord to ask for indication cos I found him very suspicious lately coming home late
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know about it, then he has already had previous affairs, and not it is obvious he has not


changed but continue to be dishonest and not loyal at all.

Customer: I gotten a dream of him holding a girl hand & behaving very intimately so I begin to trace
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see!


 

Customer: Yes indeed it hurts me very badly as a catholic cos I hv never been unfaithful
Customer: Need to be compose
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I can understand but only you know how painful and frustrating it is.


 

Customer: As I hv 3 teenage kids I need to be tactful not to hurt them though I hv prepare them a little
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Unhappily reality has been showing you he does not deserve your trust and affection, sinc


e his actions shows he is not even able to respect you. As A catholic you know that when abuse or neglect, even more affairs like this happen, it means you have to come to terms with reality that such marriage has got very unhealthy and even church considers divorce as valid.

Customer: True Rareal I
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Unhappily there is no way to effectively cope with a scenario like this without going through pain everybody involved. At least your children are teenager so able to better understand the seriousness of this situation. Any codependency must be eradicated for you to take good care of yourself and to support your children in this process.


 

Customer: My sis will be able to help me out
Customer: I will be as
Customer: Within nest week I will show him the evidence of his cheating
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Perfect. Pleas be aware that in situations like this concrete help from your "support system" is essential, namely healthy and caring family members, close friends, and other mature and caring people in your life.


 

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Obviously,professional psychotherapy or counseling support is necessary to for you to work on yourself and effe


ctively coping with this painful experience in your life.

Customer: Dr Rareal how should I confront him in this manner thank u
Customer: He is hurting many girls
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Just be honest, direct, owning your feelings and focusing on the evidence, the facts that you know about. Let


him talk and from his words of accountability or denial you would know how to cope with is from that point with family and professional support.

Customer: Glad that I hv my God in my life..
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Absolutely, this is unacceptable, very abusive, and that's why he needs to be confronted, you nor any other woman should


undergo such abuse and manipulation.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You bet.


 

Customer: Can I ask him u decide & let me know the outcome within a month or better within a week what do u reckon
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You decide about ? Could you clarify ?


 

Customer: Decide what he wants his family or the other gal
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I believe the situation here is much more complex than that.


 

Customer: Should I just let go
Customer: Tough
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You need to understand that hos words are not trustworthy and what he has done more than once would continue to happen unless he transforms himself, and for that to happen, he would need to work on himself for many months if not years m, with professional support and only is he happens to have enough respect and affection towards you, what does not seem to be the case. Despite that, you need to face the fact that he does not seem to be a healthy presence-life partner, that exposing to a situation like this could continue to undermine your health and well-being even more. SO there are many things that need to be


assessed here with a realistic approach.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I believe your husband needs professional and regular counseling support to work on his personal issues, real needs and expectations, only once he does that work, he would be able to play a healthy role in relationships. This process would never happen unless he chooses to be honest, taking full responsibility for his choices and actions and take consistent actions showing such changes. Again, that would not happen in a couple on months, that would take a lot more if it happens at all.


 

Customer: Understand u reckon I should decide what is the best for me & move on . I feel the other gal will be the one telling him off
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You cannot and should not take responsibility but for your own choices and actions, for taking good care of yourself and continue to support your children in healthy ways. This includes respecting yourself and not exposing to any form of abuse nor ne


glect, since doing so enables those who do not respect you to keep doing it.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thank you for your trust. Please take gentle care and consistent action with all necessary support.


 

Customer: Thank u so much for yr guide will do my best
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're very welcome.


 

Customer: Hi Dr Rafeal
Customer: Your service is very prompt keep it up !
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