Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
You are suffering from anxiety
and panic attacks and some obsessive think,, ALL of which are forms of anxiety.
You are doing what we in mental health call "catastrophizing", turning molehills into mountains, and letting your imagination run wild.
You must stop watching any scary or violent movies. They are part of the the cause for your fears and reactions. Stop drinking caffeinated beverages (coffee, tea, coke, Mt. Dew, etc.) Absolutely do not use anything with artificial sweeteners in them, or MSG (most snack foods).
Find a therapist near you who used Cognitive Behavior Therapy to help reduce anxiety and reframe your thinking to that you don't let your imaginary fears run wild and bring on the anxiety attacks that have real physical symptoms. They won't kill you, but they will make you think you are going crazy or going to die or something terrible will happen.
These kinds of attacks, aside from psychotherapy, can be controlled with several very effective anti-anxiety medications in the benzodiazepine class. The two most prominent are lorazepam (Ativan) or alprazolam (Xanax). They are best taken AS NEEDED to prevent addiction. Your doctor may not want to give them to you because many drug-seekers try to get this drug, which is a legitimate and wonderful medicine when used correctly, and is widely prescribed.
If your doctor knows and trusts you, then he will prescribe them on an AS NEEDED basis. He might try to give you anti-depressants instead. I do not recomend that you take them, because you have to take them everyday, they have long-term side effects, and while not addictive, cannot by stopped abruptly and have to we weaned off very slowly. They are also not as effective, and can make you gain weight,.
Go to www.psychologytoday.com. Click FIND A THERAPIST, enter your state and city, and find a therapist to help you. Therapy WILL help you. Then see your doctor and explain your symptoms and try to get the medication that will best stop your anxiety attacks.
I wish you courage and wisdom,
Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC