thank you there are other issues, his sister told me that he was incable of loving, he was physically and emotional abused as a child. he told me that he feels dead inside tries to fight off the feeling but he cant. he knows something is wrong & he shd go to the doc. he has refused to go to see his doc or anyone. that is the only time he has opened up. I hv gone to see 2 counselors. one said at his age which is 64 she does not see him chng, to go find someone else. the other counselor said whatever is wrong he has to fix it. no one else can.he will not talk to me about anything personal. it has been almost 2 yrs now an I hv not kissed my husband the way couples are suspose to kiss, his version of a kiss is a smack. I ask why dont you kiss me, he said I dont no. he is a good provider, I live in a nice home, neighbor, I dont work, he pays all bills except for mine. the main ingredient for a marriage is communication that does not exist. if I ask do u luv me, he will not answer, but he can give me a card that says it on holidays. never affection, intimacy once or twice a month. I know what I want to do but trying everything I can to mk it work. I just need reinforcement for me I think its hopeless, he is a nice person will not argue, as long as I dont stir the pot or ask personal question we hv a perfect marriage in his eyes. I do tell him what is missing, what I need, he does not seem to get it. he acts like I nvr had this conversation with him at all or that anything is wrong. I almost dont hv any fight left in me. I feel like I am living his life, intimacy, affection everything is controlled by him.