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Hey there i am trying to figure out what is wrong with me, i have been researching and have found similar cases but nobody has the awnsers i need. For as long as i can remember once someone made me angry enough i would go into a blackout rage. When i was little it would happen at the smallest of arguments and i would chase my brother and sister into a bathroom with knifes. Now that i am older ive learned to not put myself in those situations and in all honestly nobody really causes trouble with me as i am 6'4 and weigh over 300 pounds. I am not easy to anger anymore but it happened in a sports game not too long ago and its scared me into really finding out whats happening. I live in an condo with my girlfriend and the last thing i want is to hurt her or anyone else. It is really hard to explain what happens. My brother and sister say my eyes "glaze" over but i dont know if that has anything to do with my problem. They say no matter what they do or say they cant through to me. The last thing i remember is whatever set me off happening and then i come to after anywhere from 30 secounds to 2-3 miniutes. The last time it happened i shook someone by his head for about 45sec, people say i was tossing him around by his head trying to get his helmet off well the reffs where trying to pull me off. If anyone can give me any explination on what is happening i would really appreciate it. Im hesitant to go to a doctor or anything because i dont want to get marked as someone with some sort of anger problem because i feel it can haunt me later on in life. Not to mention im an international student and dont have the money to pay the prices here.
Hi. Thanks for using JustAnswer! The first thing I thought of when you were talking about your symptoms is Intermittent Explosive Disorder. I can not give out a diagnosis over the internet but I will provide you some links to look over to see what you think. http://www.nimh.nih.gov/science-news/2006/intermittent-explosive-disorder-affects-up-to-16-million-americans.shtml AND http://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/intermittent-explosive-disorder AND http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/intermittent-explosive-disorder/DS00730 The last link there are several tabs on the right that go over different parts of it. The best treatment would be to see a psychiatrist for a full diagnosis. I know you said you are an international student and do not have the money. There are several options. One would be to check with your school to see if they offer free psychological services, many do. If they do not then the local community mental health services will be able to see you at either free or very low cost. After a full psychiatric exam the doctor will discuss medication if any are needed as well as helping you set up therapy sessions. Cognitive behavioral therapy can be very helpful. I understand that you have a fear of being marked as an "angry person" BUT mental health records are extremely protected to protect patients and you have to weight out the other option of actually hurting someone because you did not seek help and ending up in jail with assault or battery charges where jail records are not protected and often hard to explain to people. Does that make sense, thoughts?
Hey thanks for getting back to me, but IED doesnt seem to fit for me. It says the outbursts for IED last 10-20min. Also it says they feel remorse and embaressed after the fact. I dont remember whatever i did, and it only lasts 30sec-2min. Also to be clear this blackout rage only happened once in the past 5 years. before that it happened alot more. I dont know if that is because of me mellowing out and being very hard to anger or if it is because ive grown and most nobody wants to mess with me. Another thing to mention would be that i can get angry without going into this rage. its just beyond some point that i go into a uncontrolable rage and blackout. I dont and have never done any sort of drugs, clinical or experimental.
It is possible that the symptoms can also stem from your ADHD. Through the years it seems that you have learned techniques to deal with the ADHD and have learned what your point of anger is. I think no matter what that your symptoms are of concern to you because you did state "the last thing I want to do is hurt my girlfriend or anyone else" and this concern is I believe enough to prompt you to get an evaluation by a doctor. A full medical exam can be very helpful to make sure that the symptoms are not caused by a medical issue. A psychiatrist can also detect any possible medical issues and run any needed test.