Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
Dear concerned grandparent,
Tyler is very insecure because of the abuse suffered at the hands of his mother and her boyfriend (her abuse was in the for of neglect
). The place he calls home has changed and he feels very insecure about that.
Now he is no longer the the youngest child in his father's home, and that causes jealousy and insecurity. His acting out is a way of calling for attention. He is feeling abandoned because of the cumulative effects of his experiences.
He needs more attention, more feeling of being safe and loved and wanted. Perhaps he does not have ADHD, but just extreme anxiety
from the trauma of his unstable world, particularly the abuse by the boyfriend, although all of the factors contribute.
I strongly believe that sending hims to boarding school would make him much worse and further traumatize him.
He needs more attention, and probably needs to work with a child therapist, perhaps one that uses the technique of play therapy, to help him tell his story.
He must be taught, of course, that some of his behavior is not acceptable, and grounding or taking away video games is appropriate.
He does need a lot of extra attention and unconditional love to reassure him. I'm sure that you have a loving and caring family. Now is the time to give more, if possible, to help him regain is self-assurance and calm his fears of abandonment.
I am sure that your family could accomplish this, and I wish your the best success in helping to end his fears.
Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC