Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am very sorry to know about this painful situation.
it seems overwhelmingly frustrating for anybody in your shoes.
Sadly what it shows is that this person does not have the maturity nor the affection to deserve you nor to develop and take good care of a relationship with you.
You have spent 7 years of your life with a person who then chose to betray you, which obviously shows how unhealthy and abusive-neglectful things go at the emotional level.
For a relationship to develop or heal into a healthy and fulfilling one, "mutual" respect, caring, honesty, understanding and support are necessary. Without them it is impossible for relationships to be truly good. Staying or pushing for a relationship like that would imply exposing yourself to abuse and neglect, what is something you do not want to afford nor deserve.
Does it make sense?
We are not married - but were in a committed relationship for 7 years. He didn't break up with me but I found out and he didn't deny he has feelings for her. I told him I would not wait for him to find out what he is feeling, but did admit that I hoped it didn't work and he realized our life was what he wanted.
He was glad I said that. (Of course now I think, why wouldn't he?)
I think it started about 2 1/2 months ago but probably most intently for a month...