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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5469
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I have met woman who is amazing! She is 26 I am 40. We have

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I have met woman who is amazing! She is 26 I am 40. We have exchanged contact info, and she is very interested in talking to me. She is from Australia has already earned a green card in europe and USA. She writes books and editorials. I feel completely inspired and yet intimidated at the same time. I have been the type of person to choose women that are plain and ordinary; maybe to avoid a failing relationship. If she is interested in a relationship, I want to be the man with the confidence she expects.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.
Hello! It's good to hear from you.

It's great that you have found someone you feel you want to be with. A relationship with someone you find inspiring and fun can be exciting and even life changing.

Being confident in the relationship starts off with how you feel about yourself. And you can be self confident without being self centered, which is putting yourself over others in value. Your confidence will show if you feel that you have been successful and you feel fulfilled in your life. Success does not mean that you have achieved money, wealth and fame. But instead it means that you live the way you choose and feel happy about your choices.

People often start off a relationship trying to please the other person. It is natural to try to impress someone and hide what you feel are flaws with yourself and your life. But being willing to be you and being open and honest is one of the best ways to show you are confident. Other people's opinions about your life are not as important as how you feel about your life. And that is confidence.

Self confidence also includes knowing that sometimes you will make mistakes but that you will always own up to them. You care about others but without giving yourself over to them. You maintain who you are in all situations, including difficult times. You care, love and treat others with respect but you don't give them control over your life.

Building your self confidence is a matter of deciding to do so. It takes some work, including learning more about self confidence and applying what you learn. Here are some resources that can help:

http://www.counselingcenter.illinois.edu/?page_id=191

http://www.mindtools.com/selfconf.html

http://suite101.com/article/the-confidence-to-be-yourself-a12244

Let me know if you need more resources. But these should help give you some of the basics to building self confidence.

Kate
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5469
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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