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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1696
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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Dear Dr. Keane, I had an interesting conversation with

Resolved Question:

Dear Dr. Keane, I had an interesting conversation with a friend who knows me relatively well. We were talking about a favour I was asking of her. It all went fine. Now, I’m not worried about this, just was a bit taken aback. She suddenly said some things about how she feels I’m a “delicate flower” (told her I can’t be that delicate otherwise would have wilted in the thunderstorm we had recently, it’s better weather today :) and she doesn’t want to probe but feels that I’ve probably had a lot of hurt in the past and that I choose carefully who I trust. I mean, this is so true as you know (Dr. Keane, I want you to know that I do totally trust you by the way, and I hope that's evident). I don’t know what to do with what she said, if anything. I didn’t even know what to say. I just felt a little taken aback. I mean, I know this friend is a person who cares about other people’s sensitivities. I really hadn’t expected that after what was a reasonable conversation about a favour she’s going to do for me. I was taken aback a bit because I hadn’t told her about what she was talking about about and I rarely tell people anything about the emotional, angst-ridden side of me. Don’t get me wrong, as I say, I’m not worried and I know she picks up on things, as I do with people too and as do you, so I reckon. I just don’t know whether to say, yes her observation is true or just to leave it. I know she, like  my best friend and you who know about this side of me most of all, wouldn’t judge and whatever I said would probably not change the friendship with this person. I'd like a bit of guidance as to how to handle this. I was going to answer my friend, but the moment had gone as the subject changed. I do hope manage to win the game of connect and are able to chat soon.

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 1 year ago.

Dr.Keane :

Hi just reading your chat


 

Customer:

Hi

Customer:

that's not happened for awhile, that we actually manage to connect first time round :)

Dr.Keane :

well good to see your sense of humor is intact! As far as a response to her comment you may just want to acknowledge that like everyone else in the world you have had some difficult situations in regards XXXXX XXXXX and that she is astute in picking up the cue from you. That's about it, you don't have to explain anything else. Truthfully since the conversation has ended there is no need to say anything, that is up to you.


 

Customer:

hopefully it won't have us jumping in and out of chat this time. I am here until the end.

Dr.Keane :

maybe server is not very busy?


who knows, keep fingers crossed

Customer:

that's fine. I just really didn't know how to handle it. If she does say something again would this make sense. Just to say yes your right and things happen in life that's good and bad, or something like that.

Customer:

and yes fingers crossed.

Dr.Keane :

And the fact that she said she didn't want to probe means, as I interpret it, that she just wants you to know she recognized it. Who knows she may have had similar experiences and sees herself, sometimes it's good to hear others experiences and how they managed them.

Dr.Keane :

she may have wanted to start a dialogue about being hurt


 

Customer:

not sure, maybe.

Dr.Keane :

never know and you won't know unless you decide to open up to her about your situation. It happens to most people at some time or other in their lifetime.


 

Customer:

she is older than me and she was just saying things about wanting me to know that I can trust her and her husband and like anyone in the church group I attend then that they are there to chat

Customer:

if anyone wants to. Usually it's bible study, but I know people do talk about whatever's been going on in their week.

Dr.Keane :

She sounds wise, opening the "door" to you so to speak. You have to decide, if and when you are ready or want to talk. Don't over think the situation, it was casually mentioned and sounds heartfelt.


 

Customer:

that makes sense. So perhaps I'll just see how things feel when I next see her.

Dr.Keane :

sounds like a good idea to me. I have to go, work is beckoning me and as usual I am running late. Let me know how it goes next time you see her.....have a good day (what's left of it for you!)

Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1696
Experience: Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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