Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.
I am sorry to hear of these difficulties and during a time when you are suffering with some physical ailments.
It is not uncommon that during times of physical ailments with a spouse that the fear can lend itself to reaching out elsewhere to alleviate the stress.
this in no way excuses his behavior but it may shed some light on it a bit.
It is shattering and can certainly cause this insecurity and rightly so. your trust has been broken.
what is he willing to do to regain your trust?
I will wait for you to come online so we can chat.
We have been going to counceling but my fear is that it could happen again, could he be a sex addict he is not really into sex because of the ed because of medical problems and the pills do not help. If he is ot interested in sex why did he make the sex phone calls, he said it was to make him feel more of a man but I wonder, he also masterbated when making these calls, he says he was a fool for doing it and it will never happen again. That he loves me and wants to make up for the past. My self worth is so low from all of this and it is hard for me to be happy or feel about him the way I did.