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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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Its on again off again bc he doesnt want to deal w the "politics"

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Its on again off again bc he doesn't want to deal w the "politics" of the relationships. He told me to be sugary sweet to her so that he doesn't lose "custody" of his kid. Its fake and i won't do it. She is still married to someone else but having my guyfriends kid among so many other things wrong like taking his baby out of state and naming him after the wrong dad.
I understand your concern. It can be very frustrating to have to play the game but she probably has him in a place where he feels he forced into this superficial behavior. It sounds like she has created a very complicated picture. You don't have to be part of that. Stick to your guns and let him know that you don't want to participate but understand his position. You have no obligation to her. Allow him to conduct himself this way and he will realize that superficiality solves nothing. Only when there is honesty does this situation improve. She probably resorts to emotional blackmail to get this behavior from him. He doesn't know what to do because she is such a mess and he wants to see his child. I would encourage you to support healthy boundaries and not the drama she is creating. He can behave this way but let him know that you won't. When you become more indifferent to their problems then he may get the message that he can't interact with her in a superficial way.
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