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KansasTherapist, LSCSW
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 566
Experience:  17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
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I am in a quandry. My Stepson has gotten engaed and about

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I am in a quandry. My Stepson has gotten engaed and about to get married. This is his third engagment. The other two girls hired private investigators because of the lying he was doing. He, I believe is a sociapath. He has done a lot of things to destroy his relationship with his father. I am very very soncerned about this new lady he is about to marry. The story he is telling to her family . I read this in the engagement announcment :
a veteran of the U. S. Air Force. He received an engineering degree from Rice University and is currently enrolled in a masters program at the University of Houston. He is employed as a project engineer with CETCO in Houston. All Lies.
He told the other young woman that he worked for the FBI.
I guess what I want to know is should I alert her parents or her? I fear him and his ability to be violent so I would not want him to know I alerted them.

KansasTherapist : Hello
KansasTherapist : Understand both you urge to warn this woman's family that your step son isn't to be trusted and your fear of what he might do if he finds out you got involved.

Hi, Yes thats right. We have no relationship with him. He has lied and stole from us also



KansasTherapist : The chances that he would find out you intervened seem fairly high.

Im not sure. I thought about sending a letter without any names. Let the family decide from there. Is that wrong?


KansasTherapist : I suppose the risk would be lower if you sent an annonomus letter.

Yes, would that be wrong to do? Im really struggling. He will destroy that young girls life finacially and emotionally

KansasTherapist : I think anything you do to give them a heads up is worthwhile.
KansasTherapist : I don't see anything wrong with it.

I have not shared this information with my husband. He already is broken hearted enough


Is it the right thing to do?

KansasTherapist : I agree that there are somethings a parent doesn't need to hear when it would only cause more pain.

TY, I guess I will have to give it more thought and make a decision. Thank you for you validation. I just wasnt sure if it was the right thing to do.


KansasTherapist : Inthink you're on the right track in both ideas.

Do you think I need to tell my hubby? Or just take it to the grave with me?

KansasTherapist : I would tell him if he finds out about the engagement on his own.

Ok, Ty Have a great day!

KansasTherapist : You're very welcome.
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