It sounds like you know what you want and you must respect those wishes. If he wanted to change he wouldn't be resistant to counseling and with that decision any outside guidance is impossible. It takes both of your efforts to mend the relationship and sometimes a relationship is just not destined to be long term. You should be true to what you feel is best. Relationships can change for the better but some are too fractured for long term change. You should do what you feel is best and that means not staying in a relationship sheerly out of obligation. You have gotten advice and your feelings are too much like friendship to change. I would say that separation is useful at times and can cause both of you to reflect deeply on this relationship. See where your husband stands with this idea but be true to what you want
Please choose positive feedback so that I am compensated
Since I have told him I still care about him, but not like a wife, have not been happy for some time now, pointed out things I want, need, and pointed out we have nothing in common, and mentioned i would like to have some time to myself away from this situation to re-evaluate things, he has become very jealous, possessive, is very worried about infidelity, etc. Seems like he needs to know where I am at all times, etc. (All new for him)
I have never been with anyone else since I have known him, and am not looking for space to find someone else. Just want to make sure this is what I want, and deal with the problem at hand. Is this a normal reaction? Is this Fear on his part? He has never been jealous before. I told him the jealousy is not helping the situation. If anything, pushing me farther away.
He keeps saying "i love you" to see how i respond. Sometimes I say, "I know", sometimes "Thank you", sometimes "luv ya" (which I do like I would a good friend, and I do say that to my friends). Is saying "luv ya" wrong, and giving him false hope for something more? Is that something I should quit all together until he realizes the direction we are going and understands my limits when saying that?
Thank you! You have been a big help! I realize it will take time, and not happen overnight, and will take patience!