Welcome back. I am thrilled to hear of your therapy and the progress you have made.
I am glad you got some clarification over what happened but not so surprised by your moms response. I am sure she carries her own guilt and remorse and has not been able to handle it in any way that can provide you comfort which you need and deserve.
I would still take the time on your own to sort it out as these interactions are very painful for you and the work you are doing is so very important.
And in your therapy you will continue to gain understanding into your mother's limitations where they won't hurt you as much is it hurts now and when you were a child.
I truly commend all of the hard work you are doing.
Yes I can understand all of that and in those moments of terrible anxiety I want you to remember your strength and confidence in your survival now. Although it would be wonderful to get that apology it is not tied to you getting stronger and feeling safe in the world.
why she cant say that? her limitations and self focus prevent that...but the good thing is you can see how damaging that is and that is not the woman you have become.
it is her self centerdness that causes that feeling from within her and nothing that you do
you are a fighter and a survivor...never forget that no matter what she does or does not do.
I also never want you to feel like you cant do your work and healing if she doesnt give that apology....you can absolutely heal.
and what scares you about that?
I understand that feeling now and that is where you are now...it may not always be that way, but there is no right or wrong way
yes and that is scary to see but again that is not who you are and look at who you have become in spite of it.
and has your therapist given you some grounding techniques so that in those very scary and anxious moments you can feel less anxious.
yes you did!
Probably but I think that maybe she is so devastated inside that she cannot give over to that feeling as maybe she has fear of becoming shattered.
yes perfect and so in those moments I want you to go to that place and see and hear and feel it all.
that is not excusing her at all, it just may shed some light for you.
exactly and it is easier for her to have the wall of non emotion than take it all in and know how deeply hurt you have been.
nothing you have done is wrong or a mistake.
you are totally okay to take that time for yourself as this is about YOU now and your healing and not about her and it gave you insight that she cannot give you what you need around this so you must do the work on your own and are doing so great already.
just like your relationships with your children and your husband.
I am so happy to hear that....it is in that connection that healing and safety come
yes and as scary as it is that is normal but so necessary so you can move through it and feel better over time.
I am smiling from ear to ear....I truly am so proud! You are a beautiful human being and those scars can never take that from you!!!!
such great strides....this safety you feel with Linda will go a long way in you continuing to heal, feel safe and less anxious.
that last line...so perfect because they have faded in many ways!
amen! of course you deserve it.
yes she has her scars as well and unfortunatley they get in the way of her being able to tend to you now AND then!
it doesnt sound like she has the internal fortitude that you do and copes with things by becoming distant and cold.
yes and I believe that is what got you both thru it....more of a testament to your strength
praying is a wonderful thing.
shows how loving and giving you are....and that will be healing for you too as you will see those failings and know that they cant hurt or impact you anymore. you are not the 5 year old girl who was in the fire.....you are strong and healthy
I am so glad to hear that.!
and capable. a agreat mom to 5 kids and a loving wife.
You are doing such great work in your therap
y but sometime sin these scary moments you need abit of hand holding and I am here.
As I said the first time, you can come to me anytime. I am always here to support you and help you feel calm.
luck is created by YOU
you absolutely can. I am so glad you requested me again...not only do I know the "story" but I have a great sense of who you are as a woman.
keep doing the great work which I know is hard but you will continue to heal.
My computer froze and I couldn't respond. No need to respond back, I just wanted you to know I did not run out on you.
Thank you for the very positive rating. I am here when you need.